"Goodbye is just Another Page in Our Story" - FF XIII, drabble - Yaag/Cid
Title: Goodbye is just Another Page in Our Story
Author: panda-pon
Characters/Fandom: Cid Raines (strongly implied--if not outright stated--Yaag/Cid)/Final Fantasy XIII
Rating: T
Warnings: Err...nothing, really. I don't think. Oh, except angst. Written in the form of a letter--not sure if that counts as a warning, but I know this sorta thing bugs some people. And could be considered vague/confusing/spoilery...depending on how far you've played in the game. If you've gotten through the Fifth Ark, and you paid attention, then you should be fine.
Wordcount: 654
Author's Note: This is something I can see Cid having written for Yaag, right before he went off to confront the Pulse l'Cie in the fifth Ark. I swear, I almost teared up while writing this. And unless I'm pissed outta my mind, it takes a lot to make me cry. This all because of one line that would not leave me alone. It bugged and harassed me all day, and then finally, an inspiration!hammer whacked me over the head in the shower, and I pretty much wrote this entire thing in my head before coming downstairs to type it out and tweak it some. :\
I'll write a response from Yaag's point of view...eventually.
My dearest Yaag,
Forgive me.
Forgive me for everything that’s written in this letter, and forgive me for keeping it to myself until now. Though I know, if you think about it, you’ll understand my reasons. Blame me all you wish, but please don’t hold it against me.
I will be the champion you’ve always said I would be. Back in our youth; back when we shared the same dreams--the same vision for a new, better Cocoon. But you lost sight of those dreams.
And now, now you’re losing sight of me.
Have you even noticed? Have you seen how the gloves never come off, even in our most intimate of moments? Don’t you wonder what secrets they hide?
Of course you don’t. Because all you’re able to see now are the fancy words and twisted orders of a corrupt leader. A leader who spins lie after lie, and like the rest of the population, you’ve fallen right into His web and you don’t even know it. I try to tell you, but it’s like a poison. It’s corrupted you, and anything I say that’s not in His favor, you take as an attack on you personally. I can’t live like this.
I can’t see you like this.
You’ve said time and time again that you love me, but will you still, when I can no longer even call myself human? Would you still follow Dysley’s every whim and revere him as you do, if you knew that he’s the one who did this to me? Or would you not even believe me? Somehow, even if you told me that you would, I don’t think I’d be able to believe you.
So, I will be that champion, even if it kills me. Somehow, I know it will, but you’re the one who encouraged me; convinced me to do everything in my power to make this world right. We were supposed to do it together, but even if you’ve forgotten it, I now have enough power for the both of us. It’s both my curse, and my blessing, because now I can never go back to you. But this way, at least, I have a chance. I can only hope that maybe, when this is all over, you will open your eyes and finish what I started. I’m sorry I won’t be there by your side.
I will fight on my own, here and now. I will confront them, and I will stop them; I will not allow Ragnarok to be summoned, because that would mean the end of everything. And please, for the love of the Maker, do not try to stop me. By the time you find this letter on my desk, it will be too late. I will be gone. I know where they are now, and as much as I hate to betray the trust they’ve placed in me, I have no choice but to apprehend them and end this.
Just promise me two things. Promise that you will look for me-and when you find me…kill me. I will not live my life as a Cie’th.
Secondly, promise that you will not hate me for what I am about to do. You once told me that one of the reasons you loved me was my resolve to always do what I know to be right. That’s what I am going to do, even if it turns me into a monster. I won’t ask you to continue to love me, but please, please just don’t hate me.
Really, I suppose I shouldn’t care either way what you’ll think of me. I won’t even know, when you have the chance to decide how to see me after this. For me, there are only two outcomes, and unfortunately neither involves being with you again.
Forgive me. Open your eyes. And don’t you dare, ever give up hope.
All my love,
C. Raines
Author: panda-pon
Characters/Fandom: Cid Raines (strongly implied--if not outright stated--Yaag/Cid)/Final Fantasy XIII
Rating: T
Warnings: Err...nothing, really. I don't think. Oh, except angst. Written in the form of a letter--not sure if that counts as a warning, but I know this sorta thing bugs some people. And could be considered vague/confusing/spoilery...depending on how far you've played in the game. If you've gotten through the Fifth Ark, and you paid attention, then you should be fine.
Wordcount: 654
Author's Note: This is something I can see Cid having written for Yaag, right before he went off to confront the Pulse l'Cie in the fifth Ark. I swear, I almost teared up while writing this. And unless I'm pissed outta my mind, it takes a lot to make me cry. This all because of one line that would not leave me alone. It bugged and harassed me all day, and then finally, an inspiration!hammer whacked me over the head in the shower, and I pretty much wrote this entire thing in my head before coming downstairs to type it out and tweak it some. :\
I'll write a response from Yaag's point of view...eventually.
My dearest Yaag,
Forgive me.
Forgive me for everything that’s written in this letter, and forgive me for keeping it to myself until now. Though I know, if you think about it, you’ll understand my reasons. Blame me all you wish, but please don’t hold it against me.
I will be the champion you’ve always said I would be. Back in our youth; back when we shared the same dreams--the same vision for a new, better Cocoon. But you lost sight of those dreams.
And now, now you’re losing sight of me.
Have you even noticed? Have you seen how the gloves never come off, even in our most intimate of moments? Don’t you wonder what secrets they hide?
Of course you don’t. Because all you’re able to see now are the fancy words and twisted orders of a corrupt leader. A leader who spins lie after lie, and like the rest of the population, you’ve fallen right into His web and you don’t even know it. I try to tell you, but it’s like a poison. It’s corrupted you, and anything I say that’s not in His favor, you take as an attack on you personally. I can’t live like this.
I can’t see you like this.
You’ve said time and time again that you love me, but will you still, when I can no longer even call myself human? Would you still follow Dysley’s every whim and revere him as you do, if you knew that he’s the one who did this to me? Or would you not even believe me? Somehow, even if you told me that you would, I don’t think I’d be able to believe you.
So, I will be that champion, even if it kills me. Somehow, I know it will, but you’re the one who encouraged me; convinced me to do everything in my power to make this world right. We were supposed to do it together, but even if you’ve forgotten it, I now have enough power for the both of us. It’s both my curse, and my blessing, because now I can never go back to you. But this way, at least, I have a chance. I can only hope that maybe, when this is all over, you will open your eyes and finish what I started. I’m sorry I won’t be there by your side.
I will fight on my own, here and now. I will confront them, and I will stop them; I will not allow Ragnarok to be summoned, because that would mean the end of everything. And please, for the love of the Maker, do not try to stop me. By the time you find this letter on my desk, it will be too late. I will be gone. I know where they are now, and as much as I hate to betray the trust they’ve placed in me, I have no choice but to apprehend them and end this.
Just promise me two things. Promise that you will look for me-and when you find me…kill me. I will not live my life as a Cie’th.
Secondly, promise that you will not hate me for what I am about to do. You once told me that one of the reasons you loved me was my resolve to always do what I know to be right. That’s what I am going to do, even if it turns me into a monster. I won’t ask you to continue to love me, but please, please just don’t hate me.
Really, I suppose I shouldn’t care either way what you’ll think of me. I won’t even know, when you have the chance to decide how to see me after this. For me, there are only two outcomes, and unfortunately neither involves being with you again.
Forgive me. Open your eyes. And don’t you dare, ever give up hope.
All my love,
C. Raines