"Trap" - Naruto, drabble - Sasuke + Naruto
Title: Trap
Author: panda-pon
Characters/Fandom: Sasuke and Naruto, mainly (sorta-features Kakashi and Sakura. Plus some random, unnamed Shinobi)/Naruto.
Rating: ...PG again. I am so, so sorry. I know I'm ruining my reputation as a perv, but-- //sob
Warnings: Naruto's stupidity. Uhm...nothing else, really? Nothing bad. Nothing I can say, without giving it away. Ohoho, I'm so clever~
Wordcount: 695
Author's Note: THIS IS HORRIBLE DO NOT READ. Seriously. It's crack, very badly disguised as seriousness. Ugh. I fail so hard I'm sorry I don't even--
Butbut it was a prompt from my Mandy, so. I had to. D: Said prompt being, 'Naruto, Sasuke - Trap'.
“So...what do you think are in those books, anyway?”
Sasuke lifted an eyebrow, but didn’t bother to look at the idiot beside him. “Books?”
Naruto rolled his eyes, waving his hands in an overly dramatized fashion. “Yeah, books. You know, the orange ones that Kakashi-sensei’s always reading?”
“You mean you don’t know?” This time, Sasuke did in fact turn to Naruto. He instantly wished he hadn’t; that he’d just ignored it, and moved on.
“...You mean you do?”
---
One hour and much discussion of questionable content later, and Sasuke almost wished he’d never even met the blonde.
“So--so what’s it called again, that thing you tie around---“
“Naruto,” the brunette hissed, effectively cutting his teammate off, “that’s enough. Enough is enough. Go read a book...or something, if you still have questions.”
I shouldn’t have answered the first one to start with.
Except it was too late for that; too late for regrets. Too late to save all the braincells he’d just effectively destroyed. Why did he do that again?
---
Two hours and a few painkillers for a headache later, and Sasuke was standing at the Main Gate; the rest of Team 7 having already been there. Kakashi looked up upon his arrival, and smiled at least, his eye did.
“Nice of you to join us, Sasuke-kun. Naruto tells me the two of you had an interesting conversation earlier.”
Sasuke’s only outward reaction was a twitch of the eyebrow, but in his mind, it was a full-on seizure. “What?” The. Fuck. “Tch,” he finally grunted.
Thankfully, they left it at that.
---
Three hours and too much traveling later, and the four of them stood on a narrow, dusty road. A girl--just about their age, really--stood opposite them, sniffling as she clutched a worn stuffed cat to her chest, and swiped at a patch of dirt on her cheek with the other hand.
“Hey, hey...” Her voice was quiet, but the air around them was quieter still, and Sasuke felt himself tense automatically, on guard. Though Kakashi looked at him and nodded, and Sakura looked between him and the girl in mild confusion...Naruto and the girl herself didn’t seem to notice. The girl continued speaking. “Could y’guys spare me some money, huh? I don’t got none, and m’hungry. Not a lot t’eat around here. You know?”
“Yeah, sure!” Naruto agreed, nodding enthusiastically as he stepped closer to the stranger, and Sasuke wanted to beat him over the head with a large, blunt object. Perhaps his own empty skull. “We have lots, so we won’t miss a few ryō, right Kakashi-sensei?”
But now the blonde was digging through his coin-purse, and so he didn’t see the girl smile malignantly, nor see his teammates tense.
“Naruto,” Sasuke spoke out quietly. Warningly. But Naruto kept walking forward, and the girl kept smiling. Finally pulling out a few ryō, Naruto extended his hand to her, and for a moment Sasuke had to wonder just how stupid someone could be, as the girl suddenly pulled out a kunai.
“Naruto, it’s---“
But Kakashi was already there, and suddenly his words were covered by the sound of a crash, and a thud, and then a few disturbingly loud snaps--Please tell me that’s not his bones...--and even as he tumbled down the steep, rocky hill, Naruto continued to shout something obscene about girls and penises, and--
“Wait, what?!”
---
Four hours and twice as many lectures as well as one traumatized kunoichi later, and Sasuke stood at the foot of Naruto’s hospital bed.
“What?” Naruto huffed. “How was I supposed to know it was Henge no Jutsu?!”
“...Kakashi-sensei knew.”
“Kakashi-sensei has the Sharingan!”
That has nothing to do with it. Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Sakura knew.”
“Sakura always knows,” Naruto shot back, as if that were really a valid argument.
“Usuratonkachi... I warned you.”
“...You told me she was a trap,” the blonde protested. Then added, “Teme.” Just for good measure.
Sasuke deadpanned. “I told you it was a trap. As in, he was using a henge. You probably scarred Sakura for life, with your stupidity.”
Naruto’s face fell, as realization dawned on him. “...Oh.”
Author: panda-pon
Characters/Fandom: Sasuke and Naruto, mainly (sorta-features Kakashi and Sakura. Plus some random, unnamed Shinobi)/Naruto.
Rating: ...PG again. I am so, so sorry. I know I'm ruining my reputation as a perv, but-- //sob
Warnings: Naruto's stupidity. Uhm...nothing else, really? Nothing bad. Nothing I can say, without giving it away. Ohoho, I'm so clever~
Wordcount: 695
Author's Note: THIS IS HORRIBLE DO NOT READ. Seriously. It's crack, very badly disguised as seriousness. Ugh. I fail so hard I'm sorry I don't even--
Butbut it was a prompt from my Mandy, so. I had to. D: Said prompt being, 'Naruto, Sasuke - Trap'.
“So...what do you think are in those books, anyway?”
Sasuke lifted an eyebrow, but didn’t bother to look at the idiot beside him. “Books?”
Naruto rolled his eyes, waving his hands in an overly dramatized fashion. “Yeah, books. You know, the orange ones that Kakashi-sensei’s always reading?”
“You mean you don’t know?” This time, Sasuke did in fact turn to Naruto. He instantly wished he hadn’t; that he’d just ignored it, and moved on.
“...You mean you do?”
---
One hour and much discussion of questionable content later, and Sasuke almost wished he’d never even met the blonde.
“So--so what’s it called again, that thing you tie around---“
“Naruto,” the brunette hissed, effectively cutting his teammate off, “that’s enough. Enough is enough. Go read a book...or something, if you still have questions.”
I shouldn’t have answered the first one to start with.
Except it was too late for that; too late for regrets. Too late to save all the braincells he’d just effectively destroyed. Why did he do that again?
---
Two hours and a few painkillers for a headache later, and Sasuke was standing at the Main Gate; the rest of Team 7 having already been there. Kakashi looked up upon his arrival, and smiled at least, his eye did.
“Nice of you to join us, Sasuke-kun. Naruto tells me the two of you had an interesting conversation earlier.”
Sasuke’s only outward reaction was a twitch of the eyebrow, but in his mind, it was a full-on seizure. “What?” The. Fuck. “Tch,” he finally grunted.
Thankfully, they left it at that.
---
Three hours and too much traveling later, and the four of them stood on a narrow, dusty road. A girl--just about their age, really--stood opposite them, sniffling as she clutched a worn stuffed cat to her chest, and swiped at a patch of dirt on her cheek with the other hand.
“Hey, hey...” Her voice was quiet, but the air around them was quieter still, and Sasuke felt himself tense automatically, on guard. Though Kakashi looked at him and nodded, and Sakura looked between him and the girl in mild confusion...Naruto and the girl herself didn’t seem to notice. The girl continued speaking. “Could y’guys spare me some money, huh? I don’t got none, and m’hungry. Not a lot t’eat around here. You know?”
“Yeah, sure!” Naruto agreed, nodding enthusiastically as he stepped closer to the stranger, and Sasuke wanted to beat him over the head with a large, blunt object. Perhaps his own empty skull. “We have lots, so we won’t miss a few ryō, right Kakashi-sensei?”
But now the blonde was digging through his coin-purse, and so he didn’t see the girl smile malignantly, nor see his teammates tense.
“Naruto,” Sasuke spoke out quietly. Warningly. But Naruto kept walking forward, and the girl kept smiling. Finally pulling out a few ryō, Naruto extended his hand to her, and for a moment Sasuke had to wonder just how stupid someone could be, as the girl suddenly pulled out a kunai.
“Naruto, it’s---“
But Kakashi was already there, and suddenly his words were covered by the sound of a crash, and a thud, and then a few disturbingly loud snaps--Please tell me that’s not his bones...--and even as he tumbled down the steep, rocky hill, Naruto continued to shout something obscene about girls and penises, and--
“Wait, what?!”
---
Four hours and twice as many lectures as well as one traumatized kunoichi later, and Sasuke stood at the foot of Naruto’s hospital bed.
“What?” Naruto huffed. “How was I supposed to know it was Henge no Jutsu?!”
“...Kakashi-sensei knew.”
“Kakashi-sensei has the Sharingan!”
That has nothing to do with it. Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Sakura knew.”
“Sakura always knows,” Naruto shot back, as if that were really a valid argument.
“Usuratonkachi... I warned you.”
“...You told me she was a trap,” the blonde protested. Then added, “Teme.” Just for good measure.
Sasuke deadpanned. “I told you it was a trap. As in, he was using a henge. You probably scarred Sakura for life, with your stupidity.”
Naruto’s face fell, as realization dawned on him. “...Oh.”