(no subject)
My counselor and I discussed my habit of picking up negative friends. I haven't had many BEST friends, I've always been like best friend number two (like, you're my best friend after Jen). Then when I have a best friend, I never feel like I have much say in the manner. It's like they keep coming over so I might as well. They are always bossy and kind like putting me down. All the people who are really kind already have a number one so I feel like I don't have any purpose.
I also always have someone negative that I really can't get rid of because they are a classmate or a co-worker, or a friend's boyfriend, or a boyfriend's friend. They'll make me feel so bad but there's nothing I can do to stop it because it would rock the boat to much, and sometimes cause more problems for me in the process. A lot of times I'm told I only notice the teasing when it's directed at me and the person is just a jerk to everyone, but I guess I always think they are joking with everyone else, but honest with me.
My counselor wanted me to think about what I could be doing to keep this trend alive. What am I getting out of it subconsciencously to continue it. She said that it might be just that it's attention & maybe I think put-downs are the only attention I think I can get. Or maybe I'm willing to settle for less because it hurts too much to always be number two. At least with a bitch best friend I'm always all they have.
I need to know how to assert myself but I'm afraid everytime I do I just get declared a bitch. I don't know how to change that. How do you tell someone they are hurting you without coming off weak or a bitch who can't take a joke?
I personally think my generation is a tad meaner to one another than people have been in the past, though. I mean who doesn't rank on all their friends? I don't know. Maybe everyone feels this way, that they are the only one being really teased.
I also always have someone negative that I really can't get rid of because they are a classmate or a co-worker, or a friend's boyfriend, or a boyfriend's friend. They'll make me feel so bad but there's nothing I can do to stop it because it would rock the boat to much, and sometimes cause more problems for me in the process. A lot of times I'm told I only notice the teasing when it's directed at me and the person is just a jerk to everyone, but I guess I always think they are joking with everyone else, but honest with me.
My counselor wanted me to think about what I could be doing to keep this trend alive. What am I getting out of it subconsciencously to continue it. She said that it might be just that it's attention & maybe I think put-downs are the only attention I think I can get. Or maybe I'm willing to settle for less because it hurts too much to always be number two. At least with a bitch best friend I'm always all they have.
I need to know how to assert myself but I'm afraid everytime I do I just get declared a bitch. I don't know how to change that. How do you tell someone they are hurting you without coming off weak or a bitch who can't take a joke?
I personally think my generation is a tad meaner to one another than people have been in the past, though. I mean who doesn't rank on all their friends? I don't know. Maybe everyone feels this way, that they are the only one being really teased.