(no subject)
sigh**** have you ever wanted something so bad yet you were terrified what would happen if you tried to get it. Ive recently discovered that my confidence is a pile of shit. over the summer i have comepletely isolated myself to dwell in my own self pity. my self esteem is slowly dwindling down. ive been feeling so moody latley. i serioulsy need to get a grip on myself. im so scared of what i dont know. i don't want to be rejected so i never put myself out there. im sick of feeling like this but i dont know how to change it. ive done my mother has advised and yet i still feel the same. i recently attended a wedding and how beautiful it was. but of course instead of enoying and being happy for my cousin i had a total pity party. i saw dozens of happy peole and couples. what the fuck. im started to think that im defected. i went into the restroom just to make sure that i didnt have dunce written across my forhead. i dont think that i have ever gotten so many compliments though. i was digusted. you look stunning how beautiful. i dont understand what these people see. i look in the mirror and see a sad little girl who has all the reasons to be happy but shes not. im so confused i just dont understand...