Do a google search for "[your name] is" and pick the 15 most amusing to share.

[panda_lily]

Jess is no Hazzard
Jess is all woman
Jess is more
Jess is the programmer's rule engine for the Java platform
Jess needs a spanking
Jess is all about integration
Jess is a genius
Jess is a ditz
Jess is in the pool, fully clothed
Jess is a spooky girl
Jess is not free for gov't use
Jess is opposed to earwigs
Jess is soooooooo damn hot
Jess is not open source
Jess is dead because her dad ran away to Ontario