Mar 23, 2007 20:57
She slowly cleaned the dried blood away, careful not to press hard, and when all that was left was the raw, clotted wound she leaned up, pulling him into her embrace, and pressed her lips to both eyes in turn, lingering over his injured one, and then pressed a hard, needy kiss to his lips as tears made silent tracks down her cheeks.
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Comments 9
So much love!
"I am your goddess." That was great. It's very lyrical and moody which is great. I would love more of this pairing and story but it's just so perfect, you really don't need to add a thing.
What do you mean "incomplete"? Will there be a sequel? Because I've got plotbunnies like woah.
ps LOVE!
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LOVE!
I wrote incomplete because I wasn't sure if I wanted to add anything on to it.
A sequel is on the mind. Because Agathe really needs a story, she honestly does. And wouldn't it be great to write their story in whole?
Now you simply MUST tell me these plot bunnies that have been attacking you!
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And you answered that call so well! I truly enjoyed the flirty mood of it; the 'seen me in your dreams' line, was unexpected but fit so perfectly. I think you captured Dilios' charm, and gravity as well.
The only tidbit that I halted on was that she was a redhead... which I believe must be incredibly rare in greece (even David Wenham's hair was changed for the film), and that you didn't mention how unique it made her.
Can't wait to see more additions to the fandom from you.
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Yes, I realized after the fact that red heads were rare, but in the heat of the moment, while writing it, the thought didn't even cross my mind.
I did hope I managed to capture Dilios' character. He was a bit difficult to write for, but I knew he had a sense of humor, at least a little, when he talked about it being, "Only an eye," and god having given him a "spare". God even thinking about that makes me chuckle.
I hope to be posting more soon, and hope you'll read when I do!
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~ Codi Lyn ~
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I have to admit, I was still a bit skeptical, but this is really well-written - you use your words very efficiently, setting up a strong atmosphere without going into florid purple prose territory - very nice! Their flirting banter was fabulous, too. I was thinking one trouble with writing 300 fanfiction would be with regards to needing knowledge of the innate workings of the particular societies in Frank Miller's 'verse, but you've done quite well here - Agathe referring to Dilios as "Spartan", etc.
Thanks for sharing! :)
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