I hate how the people you love the most have the ability to make you feel the crappiest!
So I go online to pay our cell phone bill and when you log in the 1st thing that pops up is everyones my-faves (how many min they have used with each person so you can manage it to save the most money) Anyway, Devin has been talking to a 17 year old girl who works for him twice as much as he does me. When I saw that it HURT! I am sitting at home lonely all day thinking my husband is just too busy working to talk to me but now I come to realize that he is making time to talk to some people but not his own wife! I know they are freinds but for crying out lound I am his wife and on top of that he already sees every one of his employees more than he see's his wife and kids. AAAhhh I just want to punch him for making me feel like this. Makes me feel like he dosen't love me... dosen't value me, and it hurts. I feel crushed.
It dosen't help that he never managed to do anything for our anniversarys... It really makes me feel like he honestly dosent care. He can say he loves and misses me all he wants but actions speek louder than words.
UPDATE
i decided just to update this post instead of posting another... So basicly I talked to him about it and he said exactly what I knew he would " I had no idea I don't even think about it" Men are idiots but I a not realy mad at him he can't help being a dumb ass guy lol. This whole thing would be a non issue if he had more time off work. I seriosly don't know how much longer I can do this without going on anti depressents or I am just going to break down. I had a freeking anxiety attack the other day. I have soo much on my plate with all of the stuff thats going on with Zach and school and taking care of everything around the house and figuring out how to pay the bills we can't afford. Devin isn't around to help at all. The kids lost there father, I lost my husband and my best friend and I just feel so alone and helpless. I didn't even tell him about my anxiety attack the other day because I don't want him to feel guilty.
It's a really hard time right now and I just hope we can get through it.