man my brain hurts...
ugh...my mind, body, and soul are tired of stressin out about all the things i need to do...i know that if i were to take it slow and organize my thoughts...take time to take care of things one by one, it would reduce stress like a mother fucker. but the things is...i really dont have time to take it slow and steady with a lot of these things...i have court dates flyin at me from all over the calendar...the need to get a job is starting to overwhelm a lot of other aspects of my life...running out of time on the deadline to find a place to live...i dunno, i always post something about it, but it usually always says the same thing..."blah blah blah bitch moan emo help blah blah...fart" it might get annoying to the people who actually read this but it's one of the biggest things consuming my mind lately. constantly trying to sort it all out...having to change something around...worrying and double checking if i forgot or missed a court date...searching around seven hours a day or more for a place to live or stay...i've been sitting in front of this computer for like four or five hours now filling out appliactions, scouring craigs list for something that would help me, checking court dates, organizing and planning this next month, calculating how much money i'm gonna need to be able to get by ok for a couple of months...yawn...so tired...just need to finish this last application...why the fuck do online applications take so fuckin long? (i bet your thinking "cause you sit there and blog while you're doin it, 'tard!" i'm only typing like four sentences at a time whenever it needs to load the next page..so thbbt!)...good news of this week...sorry AWESOME news of this week: Carlotta decided to take me back. From what she said to me, she figures that she can trust me not to hurt her and that i actually do care about getting my life back on track. (i mean come on...i'm workin my mind and body to the brink of self-destruction to get things straight again) It's a huge relief for me to know that me and her are together again. i couldnt even go a day without thinking about her and us and breaking into tears at least once...i guess i'm just emo like that heh. (yay three more pages left of application out of 29! woot!) back to griping about applications...what the fuck do they expect you to say when they ask you stupid shit like "You've done your share of troublemaking. strongly agree, agree, disagree, or strongly disagree....please choose one." what the fuck?!? of course the people who are actually trying to get hired are gonna disagree to some degree whether its true or not! Honestly, why does it matter if i "can sense what others are feeling, even if they don't show it?" (i'm applying at GameCrazy right now by the way) but in normal day to day life, all i would be doing is sitting there, keeping shit clean and organized, helping customers find shit, and try and get said customers to buy more shit (preferrably expensive shit...commission and what not). sigh..i dont think i will ever understand the logic or excessiver retardation of the hiring committe of any company...ever. Alas, i have finished my last application for the evening...and the fuckin sun is comin out. methinks its time to get to bed and wake up for yet another day in the life of chris. thanks for listening to me bitch about shit. good night...or good morning...or whatever and all that jazz...snore...
~chris yos
~chris yos