(no subject)
My gums cant seem to get used to my new tooth brush. My mouth feels minty fresh, yet my gums are SORE! And I didnt even brush hard...just makin sure I get my whites pearly!
I am excited about Brittany's wedding this Saturday, but none of my dresses really fit anymore, or arent wedding appropriate. So I have been shopping, but apparently I am forced to wear a strapless dress, because 'cleavage is inappropriate in church'....and when you wear a 36D you cant really avoid cleavage whatsoever. Its annoying that on a A or B sized girl, the dress would look fine, but the same style dress on ME, looks slutty...thats what I get for asking my mom I guess. So I'm either gonna ignore her advice, and get the least cleavage showing one I can find, or re-try all the dresses I own and pray.
I'm at a crossroads right now. Donald and I are not together, once again. And this time its more permanent...or at least I feel it should be. I dont think our feelings for each other are any different, I just think we are more selfish at this point, and maybe I personally just need to be alone. (Or this is what Im gonna try and tell myself to get through the many difficult moments of the day). He has a daughter now, and she comes first, and unfortunately he has yet to figure out how to balance his priorities-me being one of them. And I have realized that I dont know how to be without him...and I dont know if thats because of how much I love him or because he is my best friend or that I just dont know how to be alone. I feel like I need to finish school and live on my own and GET A JOB, maybe then I will feel more independent in life and not just mentally. I'm tired of being dependent on my parents, and Im tired of commuting and Im tired of my stupid, horrible job (its really not a horrible JOB, just my asshole boss that makes it that way). These are the things I hope to improve this year. Even though I fear debt from not living at home, I desperately need to get away. I have been looking for jobs since April, and really hardcore since graduation. But finding a part time science job is next to impossible. But I'm not giving up. I am very grateful for my friends that I do have and for the fact that I get a tuition waiver and stipend.
I pray that school and job searches give me an outlet and keep my mind off of the loneliness that sometimes sets in around this time each night. Tomorrow school starts back, so we'll see how my first week shapes up.
buenas noches
I am excited about Brittany's wedding this Saturday, but none of my dresses really fit anymore, or arent wedding appropriate. So I have been shopping, but apparently I am forced to wear a strapless dress, because 'cleavage is inappropriate in church'....and when you wear a 36D you cant really avoid cleavage whatsoever. Its annoying that on a A or B sized girl, the dress would look fine, but the same style dress on ME, looks slutty...thats what I get for asking my mom I guess. So I'm either gonna ignore her advice, and get the least cleavage showing one I can find, or re-try all the dresses I own and pray.
I'm at a crossroads right now. Donald and I are not together, once again. And this time its more permanent...or at least I feel it should be. I dont think our feelings for each other are any different, I just think we are more selfish at this point, and maybe I personally just need to be alone. (Or this is what Im gonna try and tell myself to get through the many difficult moments of the day). He has a daughter now, and she comes first, and unfortunately he has yet to figure out how to balance his priorities-me being one of them. And I have realized that I dont know how to be without him...and I dont know if thats because of how much I love him or because he is my best friend or that I just dont know how to be alone. I feel like I need to finish school and live on my own and GET A JOB, maybe then I will feel more independent in life and not just mentally. I'm tired of being dependent on my parents, and Im tired of commuting and Im tired of my stupid, horrible job (its really not a horrible JOB, just my asshole boss that makes it that way). These are the things I hope to improve this year. Even though I fear debt from not living at home, I desperately need to get away. I have been looking for jobs since April, and really hardcore since graduation. But finding a part time science job is next to impossible. But I'm not giving up. I am very grateful for my friends that I do have and for the fact that I get a tuition waiver and stipend.
I pray that school and job searches give me an outlet and keep my mind off of the loneliness that sometimes sets in around this time each night. Tomorrow school starts back, so we'll see how my first week shapes up.
buenas noches