Fic: Half the Fun
So I've been at Walt Disney World for most of the past week, and while I was there, I started thinking about what the Titans would do if they were there too. This was the result. I wrote a good chunk of it on the flight back, which is quite impressive as I kept getting distracted by eating lunch, the view outside my window, and the little brats who kept screaming, crying, and/or kicking the back of my chair. X_X
Title: Half the Fun
Rating: G
Characters: Garth, Dick Grayson, Roy Harper, Donna Troy, Wally West
Pairings: Dick/Roy
Disclaimer: The main characters belong to DC. The Disney theme parks belong to, well, Disney. Just like the rest of the universe.
Note: For those of you who haven't been to Disneyworld, here's a link to maps of the four main parks. The most important is probably the Epcot map. Also, just because, here's a clip I found of a ride that will be rather important to the story. But mostly I just wanted to share the pain. ;-)
Synopsis: Even at Disneyworld, the Titans can't resist teasing each other.
The bad guys were in jail, the city was saved, and three separate government officials had even made television announcements thanking them for a job well done. So what were the five founding members of the (formerly Teen) Titans to do now? Go to Disneyworld, of course-the self-proclaimed “Happiest Place on Earth,” where the most dangerous things they’d have to worry about were mosquitoes and sunburn.
Their first day at the parks was bright and abominably hot, especially compared to the cool, rainy New York spring the Titans had grown used to. Most of them decided to protect themselves with sun block, shades, and sensible headgear. Wally opted for the first two and a Goofy hat.
“You look completely ridiculous, you know,” Garth pointed out as they meandered around the World Showcase at Epcot.
“Hence the name ‘Goofy’,” Wally retorted, unfazed. “You need to get into the Disney spirit, Gillhead! Where else do you get the chance to dress like a kid at a Halloween party without people staring at you like you’re nuts?”
“Hopefully nowhere,” Dick and Roy said in unison, causing the two of them to burst out laughing before grasping each other’s hands. The other three Titans rolled their eyes in semi-mock exasperation.
“I can’t wait until you guys are done with your honeymoon phase,” Wally shook his head, the Goofy ears attached to the hat flopping back and forth.
“If you’re going to get all mushy, go back to the hotel. We got you a room for a reason,” added Donna.
“Now, now, let’s not allow our bitter jealousy to get the best of us,” Dick said. “We’re supposed to be having fun here.”
“Jealous of what?” Donna asked. She was looking directly at Roy, which earned her a nasty scowl from the redhead and a poorly smothered giggle from Dick.
“Robbie’s right, though,” Wally piped up. “We should totally stop teasing each other and go say hello to Mary Poppins over there.”
“Are you kidding?” Garth scoffed as the group got in line. “Teasing each other is half the fun!”
-
Wally only got more and more touristy as the day wore on. In addition to the hat, he bought a T-shirt with a picture of Goofy on it (pointing at a watch and asking what time the three o’clock parade started), a lanyard with a tiny magnetic-handed Mickey plushie weighing down the bottom, about two dozen pins to stick on both the lanyard and his newly-purchased Crocs, a souvenir plastic cup, and a plushie of Donald Duck in a sombrero. Surprisingly enough, Donna was also eager to jump on the souvenir bandwagon, although she was a little more elegant about it. She ended up purchasing a breezy orange dress from the Moroccan pavilion, a wide silver bracelet from Mexico, a parasol from China, wooden sandals from Japan, and… a pair of sparkly pink Minnie Mouse ears. It was Disneyworld, after all.
Dick and Roy also bought stuff, to a lesser extent-just a thick wool jacket from Norway for Dick and a small sample of a redwood tree (that could be transplanted and grown to full size) from The Land building in the Future World section of the park for Roy.
They even managed to get Garth into the spirit of things by convincing him to get his face painted with a pirate’s bandana, eye patch, and facial hair. Granted, “convincing” in this instance took the form of a threat to make him ride it’s a small world once they got to the Magic Kingdom, but still.
All in all, it was a good day (except for when Dick spent too long explaining that Epcot’s famous “golf ball” was actually a “geodesic dome,” causing even Roy to slap him upside the head a few times to shut him up). As soon as they got back to the hotel, Garth headed down to the pool, Dick and Roy went to their room, and Donna and Wally explored the hotel gift shop.
“So where do you want to go tomorrow?” asked Wally, glancing briefly at the t-shirts.
“I was just going to let Dick decide. You know how much he likes to plan and control every tiny…”
Donna stopped in place when she realized that Wally was no longer beside her. Glancing behind her, she found the Fastest Man Alive staring at a shelf of rather interesting hats.
“Are you pondering what I’m pondering?” Wally murmured, picking up one of the hats to look it over.
“I’m pondering the fact that they’ll kill us in our sleep,” Donna replied, “which means we should hurry up and buy them. Come on, I’m paying.”
-
“We should probably hit Hollywood Studios tomorrow if we want to see the fireworks show,” Dick announced, examining the guidemap and munching a soft, caramel apple oatmeal cookie he’d gotten from the bakery in the German pavilion. He wasn’t actually looking for Roy’s approval or opinion so much as simply thinking out loud, and Roy knew that, but he decided to argue the point anyway just for the fun of it.
“I don’t know,” he interjected thoughtfully as he rummaged through their suitcase for his pajama pants. “I kind of wanted to go to the Animal Kingdom.”
A slight pause, as if Dick couldn’t believe someone had dared to question his leadership. Then, “We’ll get there eventually. But tonight is the last night Fantasmic! will be playing while we’re here, so we should go see it while we can.”
“But I want to see the tigers.”
“You will. Just not tomorrow.”
“Why not?”
“I told you. So we can see Fantasmic!”
“I think I’d prefer Expedition Everest. And the tigers.”
Dick opened his mouth to argue, thought better of it, and half-turned in his chair to give Roy a suspicious glare.
“Are you doing this just to annoy me?”
“Would I do that to you?”
Dick turned back around to look at the map. “Now I know you’re trying to annoy me.”
“‘Trying’? I thought I was doing a pretty good job.”
Dick ignored him and took another bite of cookie. Roy grinned and abandoned the suitcase to look at the guidemap over his boyfriend’s shoulder. Which only served to further annoy Dick.
“Can I help you with something?”
“You can share your cookie with me,” Roy suggested.
“Hey, I told you to get something for yourself when we were there, but you said no. I’m not going to let you mooch off of me just because you can’t think ahead.”
“Just a bite?”
“No.”
“Come on, man, don’t be a Grinch!” Roy leaned over Dick, all but crushing his shoulder, to make a grab for the half-eaten cookie. Dick was just a fraction of a second faster and managed to snatch up his treat before Roy could get his (probably unwashed) hands all over it.
“Ugh- Roy-!” Dick protested, trying to stop the wrestling match before it began. He failed miserably, and the next thing he knew, he was leaping over furniture, sprinting out of the room and making a mad dash down the open-air hallway, with Roy hot on his heels and laughing the whole way. If he could just make it to the ice machine, maybe that’d give him a place to hide…
-
“Hey! Let us in already!” Wally hollered, banging on the door to Roy and Dick’s room for the fourth time. When he still didn’t get a response, his shoulders slumped and he sighed, “Probably too ‘busy’ to answer the door.”
“You’re looking for the honeymooners?”
Wally and Donna turned at the sound of Garth’s voice. The Atlantean was strolling casually down the hall towards them, still wet, drying his hair with a towel. The face paint had mostly washed off. They’d have to fix that tomorrow, Wally decided. But first, Dick and Roy.
“Yeah. Have you seen them?” Donna asked.
“When I was down at the pool, I glanced up and happened to see the two of them running down the hall laughing hysterically. I think they went that way,” Garth told them, pointing to the left.
“Well, then, let’s get moving!” Wally said, marching off resolutely. Donna and Garth followed.
“What do you want them for, anyway?” Garth asked the Amazon princess. “I thought we wanted to get rid of them.”
“We did. Until we found these,” Donna grinned mischievously, opening the plastic bag in her hands to show Garth what she’d bought.
-
Dick covered his mouth with his free hand to keep himself quiet as Roy ran right past him, seemingly oblivious to the fact that his prey had ducked into the small alcove housing the ice and soda machines. It’d probably take Roy a while to realize where he’d disappeared to-at least enough time to sit down, relax, and finish the troublemaking cookie.
Or so he thought, until Roy suddenly reappeared, pouncing on him like he was one of the tigers he’d been whining about. Dick quickly rolled out of the way, causing Roy to bash his head on the soda machine with a deep, echoing clang.
“Ow!! #&*%!!!”
“That’s very un-Disney of you,” Dick calmly pointed out. When he realized that Roy was too busy clutching his head to respond, Dick finally broke off a generous chunk of his dessert and held it out to Roy. Roy just glared at him.
“So now you decide to be nice to me?”
“You don’t want it?” Dick asked. He started to bring the cookie up to his mouth, but before he could, Roy snatched it away and ate half of it in one bite, still scowling. Dick chuckled at the stubborn display and leaned forward, kissing him lightly on the cheek. Roy took a moment to swallow the cookie before kissing back, this time directly on the lips. He was just starting to get into it when the sound of giggling caused the pair to look up. Turned out Wally, Donna, and Garth were standing just outside the alcove, pointing and laughing like the jerks they were.
“What are you guys, twelve? Grow up already,” Dick said, somewhat grumpily, before finishing the remains of his cookie.
“Maybe later,” replied Wally, still grinning broadly. “But for now, we have something to show you.”
“We got you guys a present!” Donna added. She held out the bag, clearly indicating that either Roy or Dick should take it from her. Neither of them did.
“Should we be afraid right now?” Dick asked, looking at the bag as if expecting it to spit at him.
“Only one way to find out,” said Wally as he bounced eagerly on his toes. The speedster’s enthusiasm made both Dick and Roy hesitate, but after a short pause, Dick took the bag and opened it up. Inside were two very special pairs of Mickey Mouse ears, each with a tiny top hat, bowtie and tuxedo top on it. They were clearly meant for newlyweds, which Roy and Dick most emphatically were not.
Dick froze. Roy froze. The others tried their hardest to keep the hysterical laughter at bay, but only held out until Roy spluttered, “We’re not even married!”
“With the way you two act, you might as well be,” Garth insisted (since Donna and Wally were too busy howling with laughter to say anything). “So what are you waiting for? Try them on!”
“No!”
“Fine then. We’ll make a bet. If you win, we’ll return the hats. If we win, you have to wear them all day tomorrow. And while riding it’s a small world.”
“Done!” Roy impetuously agreed, even as Dick waved his arms at him, vainly trying to shut him up. “What’s the bet?”
-
“This sucks,” Roy mumbled, being careful to keep his voice down and his language relatively G-rated so as not to offend the small children and old ladies surrounding them.
“I tried to stop you,” Dick reminded him. “And you should have figured that our so-called friends wouldn’t play fair.”
“Yeah,” Roy admitted, pausing a moment to scowl very bitterly at the other Titans, who were safely on dry land, frantically taking pictures and cackling at his foolishness. “Arranging a swimming contest between us and Garth was definitely dirty pool.”
Dick snorted at the unintended pun and adjusted his Mickey ears in a futile attempt to make them look cooler.
“Those really don’t look too bad on you,” Roy commented.
“Why, Mr. Harper, are you asking for my hand in marriage?” Dick joked, fluttering his eyelashes.
“What?!! No! I just meant-!”
“Okay, okay, don’t panic. I was kidding. Sheesh,” Dick interrupted him, the slightest hint of true grumpiness in his voice. “I haven’t seen anyone get that worked up since Donna made Wally think they’d gotten hitched that one night he was drunk at New Years’.”
Their little boat slowly drifted towards the small archway up ahead. The horridly unforgettable sound of the ride’s bouncy title tune was already floating their way, causing Roy to grimace.
“We are never getting to sleep tonight,” he moaned.
“I wouldn’t be too sure about that.”
Roy raised an eyebrow and watched carefully as Dick pulled something out of his pocket. It turned out to be two pairs of earplugs.
“I don’t know why I’m giving you these. This is all your fault,” Dick pointed out.
“Well, thanks anyway.” Roy twisted the plugs in, thus dulling the sound of the music and the shouts of ‘you’re cheating!’ from the other Titans behind them. “And I do love you, you know. Just not ready to take the big leap just yet.”
Dick was about to say “I know,” but then he realized that Roy wouldn’t be able to hear him very well with the earplugs in. So instead, he gave Roy a soft, slow kiss before pulling back, taking the redhead’s hand in his own, and smiling reassuringly. Roy gave him a smile in return and allowed Dick to rest his well-dressed head on his shoulder. He also pulled out his iPhone and began to record the sound of that irritating melody and the sight of the somewhat creepy little audio-animatronics dancing to it. That way, he could share it with the others later.
It was Disneyworld, after all. And what was Disney without some sharing and caring?
--
Those hats were the only reason I wrote this story, really. :-D And the cookie was delicious.