....wtf?
I thought I was going to die that night. I made sure my future dead body wouldn't offend anyone and resolved myself to going to sleep possibly forever.
I woke up the next morning, and I was okay.
I had been dreaming, though...weird fever dreams. I got out of bed...and something else weird happened...it's hard to remember it all now.
When I got to work, Katie had returned from being inexplicably missing. She held out her hand to show a glittering diamond ring and proclaimed, "I'm engaged!" i was happy for her, but that's not it. This was the first time in my life for this perfectly average movie/tv scenario to actually happen to me in real life. Someone walks up to me, shows me a ring, and says, "I'm engaged." I felt like such a grown-up and thusly was disappointed with myself...but then I felt strangely accomplished, as though I could mark off one of those things that was supposed to happen at least once in my life.
It was Labor Day, and Joe's was closed. Adam and I had intended to go to Joe's, but once we realized that it was actually a no-work day, we decided to head over to Wal-Mart to eat at the McDonalds there. (It's close to my work, and they sell fancy pretzels.) This was the most surreal part of the day. As we were walking in, we passed Padawan's car. Padawan and the boys must be grocery shopping. Adam asked if I still wanted to get food inside, and I said yes.
While waiting for my change, Laura ran up to me and said she'd seen the boys. Don and Stephanie were near the fresh food section, kissing cutely. Alix's grandmother walked by, pushing an Alix in a wheelchair, who was talking on a cell phone and did not notice us. I caught someone in the corner of my eye that looked like either Trey or Dave. I was almost sure I'd seen the nice man that owns the Ice Cream Shoppe. Then I could have sworn I saw Jimmy walking purposefully to the back of the store...
It was so weird. It was like everyone in the store was somehow a pivotal person in what had been my life. I started to feel like maybe I had died, and this was someplace I had to go to relive my live. Appropriate, that it would be at a Wal-Mart. I started looking for people that I knew had no reason to be there. Chance. Marcus. The lady that put on my play when I was in after-school care at Harrison Christian School. I really felt that if I looked hard enough, I'd find them.
I somehow found the words for what I was feeling, but it seemed cheesy when I said it. "It's like...we're in the season finale of my life." Though, I guess if I was dead, it would have to be the series finale, wouldn't it? Meh. I was entertained.
Later that evening, Laura and I went to get coffee. As we sat in the enclosed outdoor patio of Sugar Brown's, all alone, a song started playing over the radio...just as Laura asked how Disney World had been. It was a song to triumph over all other songs. It was the siamese cat song from Lady and the Tramp. We burst into smiles, and then laughter. It turned itself up so we could hear better. It wasn't even the movie version of the song. It was a longer, fuller version that I didn't know existed--though it seemed to be the original talent. I was so amused. Even more so when we realized that it was, in fact, being played on a satellite alternative radio station...not just someone's work mix cd. That was odd. And delightful.
I went to sleep feeling much better last night, and just before I woke up, I dreamed of fighting pirates. Not just any pirates...THE pirates. Captain Hook and all. I couldn't fly...I think I was pan, but I couldn't fly...I had to climb on tunnels and trellises and structures made of ratty cloth and creaky wood. I excelled at it, but I couldn't fly. I MUST have been pan. I felt small, like a kid. The captain was gigantic, and terrifying. Not cartoony at all...but seriously, genuinely a cold-hearted villain. I could see the fire glinting in his eyes when I let him get too close, and I felt his hook swipe air inches from my skin. There must have been something wrong with me, though I didn't realize it in the dream. I should have been flying, not climbing. And i should have been able to steal swords from pirates with careless ease. I couldn't. They always got away, even if I was to sneak up behind them, silently as a redskin. Nope, I couldn't do it. I just thought the pirates were getting better, not that I was losing my touch.
In the climactic Hook-or-me-this-time battle, he had lost his sword, but he still managed to disarm me...and Captain Hook without a sword is still a formidable enemy. I was fully aware, as I'd never been before, of the gory capabilities of that grisly iron hook. He cut me up pretty good...I couldn't miss him all the time, especially unarmed with no way to fly off and acquire a new weapon. I could only climb away, and jump bravely to other platforms, poles, and moth-eaten draperies...but I couldn't fight him. I don't know how, but eventually I ended up with a sword. It was longer than I'd like, tarnished and beat-up looking, and was very flimsy and (at first glance) too dull. However, it was thin enough to compensate for its swishy-bendy-ness, and I managed to stab Hook right under his bottom right rib. The sword went all the way through. It was a good feeling--one that I'm very familiar with in dreams, though the idea is horrid and foreign in real life. That stabby feeling...the resistance that flesh will give a sharp, hand-held weapon...the sensitivity of passing through different body tissues as felt through the sword's hilt. I don't know where I got it from, but it's always been there. It's probably just what I'd imagine it to be, I suppose.
I stabbed him, and he looked at me, shocked and angry (yet threatening), and he fell. We were very high up. Despite the fall, though, and despite the wound I'd dealt him, I knew that he would not die, and that he'd be even more angry and vengeful the next time I met him.
Then...I woke up.
I would have liked so much to see how it ended, and to figure out why I couldn't fly, and why I held minimal control over the dream.
There were puzzles and tricks, and Adam was there. Other people were there too, but I can't remember any more that i recognized.
There was a plump, blonde british child somewhere in there. She was flying a model airplane on a string, as if it were a kite. She gave me a porcelain doll with the face of Dustin Hoffman...as Captain Hook, of course. I think so, anyway. It had curls. Later in the dream, all I could see of the doll's face were crude lines, as if it had just been chopped from wood rather than poured into a smooth mold.
Above everything else, I hope I do the right thing.
I woke up the next morning, and I was okay.
I had been dreaming, though...weird fever dreams. I got out of bed...and something else weird happened...it's hard to remember it all now.
When I got to work, Katie had returned from being inexplicably missing. She held out her hand to show a glittering diamond ring and proclaimed, "I'm engaged!" i was happy for her, but that's not it. This was the first time in my life for this perfectly average movie/tv scenario to actually happen to me in real life. Someone walks up to me, shows me a ring, and says, "I'm engaged." I felt like such a grown-up and thusly was disappointed with myself...but then I felt strangely accomplished, as though I could mark off one of those things that was supposed to happen at least once in my life.
It was Labor Day, and Joe's was closed. Adam and I had intended to go to Joe's, but once we realized that it was actually a no-work day, we decided to head over to Wal-Mart to eat at the McDonalds there. (It's close to my work, and they sell fancy pretzels.) This was the most surreal part of the day. As we were walking in, we passed Padawan's car. Padawan and the boys must be grocery shopping. Adam asked if I still wanted to get food inside, and I said yes.
While waiting for my change, Laura ran up to me and said she'd seen the boys. Don and Stephanie were near the fresh food section, kissing cutely. Alix's grandmother walked by, pushing an Alix in a wheelchair, who was talking on a cell phone and did not notice us. I caught someone in the corner of my eye that looked like either Trey or Dave. I was almost sure I'd seen the nice man that owns the Ice Cream Shoppe. Then I could have sworn I saw Jimmy walking purposefully to the back of the store...
It was so weird. It was like everyone in the store was somehow a pivotal person in what had been my life. I started to feel like maybe I had died, and this was someplace I had to go to relive my live. Appropriate, that it would be at a Wal-Mart. I started looking for people that I knew had no reason to be there. Chance. Marcus. The lady that put on my play when I was in after-school care at Harrison Christian School. I really felt that if I looked hard enough, I'd find them.
I somehow found the words for what I was feeling, but it seemed cheesy when I said it. "It's like...we're in the season finale of my life." Though, I guess if I was dead, it would have to be the series finale, wouldn't it? Meh. I was entertained.
Later that evening, Laura and I went to get coffee. As we sat in the enclosed outdoor patio of Sugar Brown's, all alone, a song started playing over the radio...just as Laura asked how Disney World had been. It was a song to triumph over all other songs. It was the siamese cat song from Lady and the Tramp. We burst into smiles, and then laughter. It turned itself up so we could hear better. It wasn't even the movie version of the song. It was a longer, fuller version that I didn't know existed--though it seemed to be the original talent. I was so amused. Even more so when we realized that it was, in fact, being played on a satellite alternative radio station...not just someone's work mix cd. That was odd. And delightful.
I went to sleep feeling much better last night, and just before I woke up, I dreamed of fighting pirates. Not just any pirates...THE pirates. Captain Hook and all. I couldn't fly...I think I was pan, but I couldn't fly...I had to climb on tunnels and trellises and structures made of ratty cloth and creaky wood. I excelled at it, but I couldn't fly. I MUST have been pan. I felt small, like a kid. The captain was gigantic, and terrifying. Not cartoony at all...but seriously, genuinely a cold-hearted villain. I could see the fire glinting in his eyes when I let him get too close, and I felt his hook swipe air inches from my skin. There must have been something wrong with me, though I didn't realize it in the dream. I should have been flying, not climbing. And i should have been able to steal swords from pirates with careless ease. I couldn't. They always got away, even if I was to sneak up behind them, silently as a redskin. Nope, I couldn't do it. I just thought the pirates were getting better, not that I was losing my touch.
In the climactic Hook-or-me-this-time battle, he had lost his sword, but he still managed to disarm me...and Captain Hook without a sword is still a formidable enemy. I was fully aware, as I'd never been before, of the gory capabilities of that grisly iron hook. He cut me up pretty good...I couldn't miss him all the time, especially unarmed with no way to fly off and acquire a new weapon. I could only climb away, and jump bravely to other platforms, poles, and moth-eaten draperies...but I couldn't fight him. I don't know how, but eventually I ended up with a sword. It was longer than I'd like, tarnished and beat-up looking, and was very flimsy and (at first glance) too dull. However, it was thin enough to compensate for its swishy-bendy-ness, and I managed to stab Hook right under his bottom right rib. The sword went all the way through. It was a good feeling--one that I'm very familiar with in dreams, though the idea is horrid and foreign in real life. That stabby feeling...the resistance that flesh will give a sharp, hand-held weapon...the sensitivity of passing through different body tissues as felt through the sword's hilt. I don't know where I got it from, but it's always been there. It's probably just what I'd imagine it to be, I suppose.
I stabbed him, and he looked at me, shocked and angry (yet threatening), and he fell. We were very high up. Despite the fall, though, and despite the wound I'd dealt him, I knew that he would not die, and that he'd be even more angry and vengeful the next time I met him.
Then...I woke up.
I would have liked so much to see how it ended, and to figure out why I couldn't fly, and why I held minimal control over the dream.
There were puzzles and tricks, and Adam was there. Other people were there too, but I can't remember any more that i recognized.
There was a plump, blonde british child somewhere in there. She was flying a model airplane on a string, as if it were a kite. She gave me a porcelain doll with the face of Dustin Hoffman...as Captain Hook, of course. I think so, anyway. It had curls. Later in the dream, all I could see of the doll's face were crude lines, as if it had just been chopped from wood rather than poured into a smooth mold.
Above everything else, I hope I do the right thing.