EXTREME CV MEME
"THE EXTREME CV/RESUMÉ MEME"
IN ORDER TO BE EXTREME, YOU HAVE TO FILL OUT AN APPLICATION. A TEAM OF GARLOCKS AND ONE MOTHERFUCKING SHARK WILL INVESTIGATE YOUR CLAIM TO MANLINESS.
RULES, BITCH
-CAPS ARE PREFERRED, BUT NOT NECESSARY.
-TELL THE TRUTH, BUT USE HYPERBOLE. (THAT'S EXAGGERATE TO ALL YOU NON-ENGLISH LITERATURE PEOPLE)
-SWEARING IS NOT COOL (UH I CAN'T MAKE MY MIND UP ON THIS ONE. SRY)
-YEAH.
F I L L
PIGEON MAIL ME.
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EDUCATION - A SCHOOL IN GERMANY - CAN NOW TERRIFY PEOPLE BY SCREAMING AT THEM IN GERMAN.
- A SCHOOL IN SWITZERLAND - HAVE SUCCESSFULLY BRIBED PEOPLE IN THE PAST WITH CHOCOLATE.
- AN ALL FEMALE BOARDING SCHOOL IN ENGLAND - CAN NOW RUN FASTER THAN A FIGHTERJET. (DUE TO RACING AGAINST 500 GIRLS FOR LUNCH AND THE MINIBUS EVERY DAY) AND RECITE THE WHOLE OF EACH SCHOOL MASS INCLUDING THE PRIEST'S PART.
WORK EXPERIENCE WAITRESS IN A TEA LOUNGE
THE BEST WAITRESS EVER. CAN WASH DISHES AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT, BALANCE FOUR FUCKING TRAYS AND UNDERSTAND INDIAN ACCENTS.
SECRETARY
CAN BEAT ANYONE IN SPEED PHOTOCOPYING.
CAN TRANSFER CALLS LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS.
MAKE-UP COMPANY (INTERN)
HAS GAINED SUPERPOWERS FROM EXPOSURE TO CHEMICALS AND CAN MAKE ANYONE FABULOUS. EVEN UGLY PEOPLE. ALSO I HAD TO EAT GERMAN FOOD FOR A WEEK, AND I SURVIVED BECAUSE I HAVE A FUCKING METAL STOMACH.
SKILLS -CAN USE MICROSOFT WORD LIKE A PRO EXPERT PERSON.
-HAS A VARIETY OF NON-HUMAN EXPRESSIONS.
-EXPERT AT EXTREME SLEEPING.
-CAN QUOTE COMEDIANS WORD FOR WORD. (WILL MAKE A GOOD SPY)
I LIKE WRITING PRON, DOING MANLY THINGS LIKE WEARING MONOCLES AND TOP HATS AND DROP KICKING SQUIRRELS.
REFERENCES - MY MOM.
- YOUR MOM.
- JESUS.
---
THANK YOU FOR APPLYING FOR THE RIGHT TO BE RECOGNISED AS EXTREME. WE'LL GET BACK TO YOU AS SOON AS WE FINISH PUNCHING BEARS TO THE MOON.
CODES AND ORIGINAL CAN BE FOUND HERE
IN ORDER TO BE EXTREME, YOU HAVE TO FILL OUT AN APPLICATION. A TEAM OF GARLOCKS AND ONE MOTHERFUCKING SHARK WILL INVESTIGATE YOUR CLAIM TO MANLINESS.
RULES, BITCH
-CAPS ARE PREFERRED, BUT NOT NECESSARY.
-TELL THE TRUTH, BUT USE HYPERBOLE. (THAT'S EXAGGERATE TO ALL YOU NON-ENGLISH LITERATURE PEOPLE)
-SWEARING IS NOT COOL (UH I CAN'T MAKE MY MIND UP ON THIS ONE. SRY)
-YEAH.
F I L L
PIGEON MAIL ME.
---
EDUCATION - A SCHOOL IN GERMANY - CAN NOW TERRIFY PEOPLE BY SCREAMING AT THEM IN GERMAN.
- A SCHOOL IN SWITZERLAND - HAVE SUCCESSFULLY BRIBED PEOPLE IN THE PAST WITH CHOCOLATE.
- AN ALL FEMALE BOARDING SCHOOL IN ENGLAND - CAN NOW RUN FASTER THAN A FIGHTERJET. (DUE TO RACING AGAINST 500 GIRLS FOR LUNCH AND THE MINIBUS EVERY DAY) AND RECITE THE WHOLE OF EACH SCHOOL MASS INCLUDING THE PRIEST'S PART.
WORK EXPERIENCE WAITRESS IN A TEA LOUNGE
THE BEST WAITRESS EVER. CAN WASH DISHES AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT, BALANCE FOUR FUCKING TRAYS AND UNDERSTAND INDIAN ACCENTS.
SECRETARY
CAN BEAT ANYONE IN SPEED PHOTOCOPYING.
CAN TRANSFER CALLS LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS.
MAKE-UP COMPANY (INTERN)
HAS GAINED SUPERPOWERS FROM EXPOSURE TO CHEMICALS AND CAN MAKE ANYONE FABULOUS. EVEN UGLY PEOPLE. ALSO I HAD TO EAT GERMAN FOOD FOR A WEEK, AND I SURVIVED BECAUSE I HAVE A FUCKING METAL STOMACH.
SKILLS -CAN USE MICROSOFT WORD LIKE A PRO EXPERT PERSON.
-HAS A VARIETY OF NON-HUMAN EXPRESSIONS.
-EXPERT AT EXTREME SLEEPING.
-CAN QUOTE COMEDIANS WORD FOR WORD. (WILL MAKE A GOOD SPY)
I LIKE WRITING PRON, DOING MANLY THINGS LIKE WEARING MONOCLES AND TOP HATS AND DROP KICKING SQUIRRELS.
REFERENCES - MY MOM.
- YOUR MOM.
- JESUS.
---
THANK YOU FOR APPLYING FOR THE RIGHT TO BE RECOGNISED AS EXTREME. WE'LL GET BACK TO YOU AS SOON AS WE FINISH PUNCHING BEARS TO THE MOON.
CODES AND ORIGINAL CAN BE FOUND HERE