It's been a long time
so i haven't posted anything in a while. i've moved out of the tiny apartment. i work with crazy kids. my friends are crazy too. i love them because they're crazy. i'm crazy. who are we kidding?
things are good. i'm not really saying that as a general "yeah, whatever" statement. things really are good. my job gives me a high enough dose of stress that i feel like i'm doing something... and the people i hang out with every night make me happy. with the job stress comes a good amount of moral satisfaction as well... which is nice. i feel like my life has a purpose, i have some goals (get out of debt, go on vacation, etc.) i just joined a gym and even tho it's only been a couple weeks i feel so much better about myself. the activity is so good for me.... i seriously needed it. so basically the plan is i'm gonna get all in shape and hott and then swear off clothes and exist naked. woo.
so the new house is cool. my new roomies are very interesting people. it's exciting to get to know them in such a kamikazi-esque way. hi, we're strangers. wanna live together? cool.
i enjoy them thoroughly. the place is finally starting to feel like home... but not quite. it's strange to move into a house where other people are already established. even tho some of my stuff is here, i still feel like a visitor most of the time. it's not a feeling that really bothers me... it's just kinda there in the back of my mind not doing much of anything. i'll deal.
the job is an adventure every day. the kids are nuts. they do nutty things. it seems so normal... because it's my every day. i feel like we're one big dysfunctional family. i come home from work and talk to my friends about getting kicked and bled on and spit on and blah blah blah.... all sorts of other disgusting things.... and it doesn't really occur to me that it's not completely and absolutely normal. it's weird.... but kinda funny in a twisted way. i'm happy there. but it's more than that.... i feel like i belong there. like, right now in my life... i feel like i am exactly where i'm supposed to be. it's incredible how much i feel like i have changed as a person in the last four months. i have learned so much from these kids, and from my friends.... people i have not known for long but who have changed me profoundly. ...how people are, what people want. maybe more like.... the difference between who people think they are.... and who they actually are. the more i think about it... if people actually got what they wanted out of life they would have no idea what to do with it. myself included.
not a clue. sometimes we don't get what we want... but we just need to calm the fuck down and realize that maybe it's for the best.
everything happens for a reason... and everything is as it should be.
things are good. i'm not really saying that as a general "yeah, whatever" statement. things really are good. my job gives me a high enough dose of stress that i feel like i'm doing something... and the people i hang out with every night make me happy. with the job stress comes a good amount of moral satisfaction as well... which is nice. i feel like my life has a purpose, i have some goals (get out of debt, go on vacation, etc.) i just joined a gym and even tho it's only been a couple weeks i feel so much better about myself. the activity is so good for me.... i seriously needed it. so basically the plan is i'm gonna get all in shape and hott and then swear off clothes and exist naked. woo.
so the new house is cool. my new roomies are very interesting people. it's exciting to get to know them in such a kamikazi-esque way. hi, we're strangers. wanna live together? cool.
i enjoy them thoroughly. the place is finally starting to feel like home... but not quite. it's strange to move into a house where other people are already established. even tho some of my stuff is here, i still feel like a visitor most of the time. it's not a feeling that really bothers me... it's just kinda there in the back of my mind not doing much of anything. i'll deal.
the job is an adventure every day. the kids are nuts. they do nutty things. it seems so normal... because it's my every day. i feel like we're one big dysfunctional family. i come home from work and talk to my friends about getting kicked and bled on and spit on and blah blah blah.... all sorts of other disgusting things.... and it doesn't really occur to me that it's not completely and absolutely normal. it's weird.... but kinda funny in a twisted way. i'm happy there. but it's more than that.... i feel like i belong there. like, right now in my life... i feel like i am exactly where i'm supposed to be. it's incredible how much i feel like i have changed as a person in the last four months. i have learned so much from these kids, and from my friends.... people i have not known for long but who have changed me profoundly. ...how people are, what people want. maybe more like.... the difference between who people think they are.... and who they actually are. the more i think about it... if people actually got what they wanted out of life they would have no idea what to do with it. myself included.
not a clue. sometimes we don't get what we want... but we just need to calm the fuck down and realize that maybe it's for the best.
everything happens for a reason... and everything is as it should be.