Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?
Just finished watching Moulin Rouge with the best friend.
So I had a very rough week. I'm not sure how I feel yet venting to a computer screen, especially since I'm sure no one will really read this anyway, but I'll give it a try.
First things first, my amazing aunt died last Wednesday. My mom's sister, Joyce, was hit by a drunk driver on the 23rd, was in a comma until she finally passed a few days ago. I'm in Cali, and they're in fucking North Carolina. I had no money to go to the funeral, and I've never felt more distant from my family, to my friends, to anything really. Then Jamie and I got into a big fight because I forgot about his stupid party last Saturday as I was still mourning the death of a close family member, and he starts complaining because I'm always so down all of the time. I swear guys PMS too.
It's really not like Jamie to be so irrational and so much of an insensitive asshole, so his lack of understanding really set me off. So I did what I usually do when I'm feeling down- I head to Tony's. Of course, that's when Jamie tries to make up with me, sees me with Tony, and we get into another fight. Except this time it's about me being a slutbag whoreface and going to be with other guys right after a fight with him. He never understood the concept of guys and girls being nothing more than friends. So after another shouting match, he storms off in his car, and leaves me crying. Lucky for me, I was already at my therapist's house.
I've been here for a few days- there's always something new to do here. He just got a pool table. I've been kicking his ass, of course. Jamie keeps texting, but I just don't wanna answer. Am I being immature by ignoring him? His party really sucked, and I knew his ex was bringing her new toy, so I know he was just misdirecting his anger at me, and I can usually accept that. But I think I have the right to ignore him. After all of the crap that he threw in my face, I think a cold shoulder isn't such an overreaction, right? I don't know... I know I'll have to talk to him eventually, but for now, I'm going to go watch some more of my favorite movies with Tony. He has RENT. :)
So I had a very rough week. I'm not sure how I feel yet venting to a computer screen, especially since I'm sure no one will really read this anyway, but I'll give it a try.
First things first, my amazing aunt died last Wednesday. My mom's sister, Joyce, was hit by a drunk driver on the 23rd, was in a comma until she finally passed a few days ago. I'm in Cali, and they're in fucking North Carolina. I had no money to go to the funeral, and I've never felt more distant from my family, to my friends, to anything really. Then Jamie and I got into a big fight because I forgot about his stupid party last Saturday as I was still mourning the death of a close family member, and he starts complaining because I'm always so down all of the time. I swear guys PMS too.
It's really not like Jamie to be so irrational and so much of an insensitive asshole, so his lack of understanding really set me off. So I did what I usually do when I'm feeling down- I head to Tony's. Of course, that's when Jamie tries to make up with me, sees me with Tony, and we get into another fight. Except this time it's about me being a slutbag whoreface and going to be with other guys right after a fight with him. He never understood the concept of guys and girls being nothing more than friends. So after another shouting match, he storms off in his car, and leaves me crying. Lucky for me, I was already at my therapist's house.
I've been here for a few days- there's always something new to do here. He just got a pool table. I've been kicking his ass, of course. Jamie keeps texting, but I just don't wanna answer. Am I being immature by ignoring him? His party really sucked, and I knew his ex was bringing her new toy, so I know he was just misdirecting his anger at me, and I can usually accept that. But I think I have the right to ignore him. After all of the crap that he threw in my face, I think a cold shoulder isn't such an overreaction, right? I don't know... I know I'll have to talk to him eventually, but for now, I'm going to go watch some more of my favorite movies with Tony. He has RENT. :)