Maybe Enpowerment is Overrated
I remember having a drink with my last neighbor and her best friend as she was packing to move somewhere much more redneck than my neighborhood and the two of them were in awe of me. They couldn't seem to believe that I paid my bills, bought my house, got my job, and make my decisions entirely on my own. One of the ladies scraped by on the hand outs the system provides to single mothers who don't think they can work and the other (my ex-neighbor) lived on allimony from her first husband and a cashed in life insurance policy from her second husband. The friend of my neighbor was the one who was the most enamored. She showed me the gun shot wound in her thigh from where one of her children's fathers shot her when he was drunk and "goofing around" one night. She showed me which bones had been broken by ex boyfriends and ex husbands... She looked at me like I was a princess, or an alien for that matter, because I've never been in a relationship that includes domestic violence and I can also stand on my own without depending on someone else.
Don't get me wrong... I'm honored to be a role-model and I hope that their seeing me do what I do naturally will show them that they can do anything they want with their life. But.... sometimes, I get so tired of being alone. Sure, I don't -need- anyone to survive and I sure as hell wouldn't put up with some asshole that hits me or makes me feel badly about myself, but it is really nice to have people I can depend on. It is especially nice to have real partners to lean on when day to day stuff starts to become difficult. Nothing major has gone wrong... it is just that an extremely large number of small and otherwise insignificant things have been harder than usual to resolve and I'm a little down about it. No worries. I'm not going to whine, I'm just going to focus on where I'm going. I'll keep on keeping on... but I'm completely exhausted. I'll figure it out, work through it, beg/borrow/steal, and come out on the other side -- just like I always do but... damn... I'm tired. It's lonely being the statue of liberty.
Sincerely,
Role Model
Don't get me wrong... I'm honored to be a role-model and I hope that their seeing me do what I do naturally will show them that they can do anything they want with their life. But.... sometimes, I get so tired of being alone. Sure, I don't -need- anyone to survive and I sure as hell wouldn't put up with some asshole that hits me or makes me feel badly about myself, but it is really nice to have people I can depend on. It is especially nice to have real partners to lean on when day to day stuff starts to become difficult. Nothing major has gone wrong... it is just that an extremely large number of small and otherwise insignificant things have been harder than usual to resolve and I'm a little down about it. No worries. I'm not going to whine, I'm just going to focus on where I'm going. I'll keep on keeping on... but I'm completely exhausted. I'll figure it out, work through it, beg/borrow/steal, and come out on the other side -- just like I always do but... damn... I'm tired. It's lonely being the statue of liberty.
Sincerely,
Role Model