(no subject)
It depresses me that no matter how much I want to, I can't seem to get motivated to do anything about my lack of physical activity and my excessive eating. I keep swearing that I'll start working out, but keep coming up with excuses to NOT work out. I have gained 30 lbs over the past 5 years...after I lost 80. I wonder, where did the motivation go that led me to lose that much? Barely any of my clothes fit. Every time I look in the mirror, I'm disgusted. And I need to find some way to channel that disgust into motivation.
I guess that's what happens to a person who was ridiculed for being a fat kid -- who loses it and gains it again. I'm an emotional eater, what can I say? And I tend to love all things fatty and unhealthy.
But as I vomit out these words, I'm going to try tomorrow to start doing something about eating -- to try and incorporate some physical activity into my day...whether it involves parking far away at college and hiking up the hill. Just something. And maybe if I post it out there, that will be my motivation. Something like -- hey, other people are reading this, so they know...and I don't want to disappoint them. You know, something.
But other than this, life is good. That play I wanted to try out for? I managed to snag the lead role in it. It's filled my free time with something fullfilling and wonderful. And when it's over? I know I'm going to be depressed. But I've been bitten by the musical theater bug and I'm definitely going to try to audition at other places. I will shamelessly admit that I love having the spotlight on me. Is that really wrong?
I guess that's what happens to a person who was ridiculed for being a fat kid -- who loses it and gains it again. I'm an emotional eater, what can I say? And I tend to love all things fatty and unhealthy.
But as I vomit out these words, I'm going to try tomorrow to start doing something about eating -- to try and incorporate some physical activity into my day...whether it involves parking far away at college and hiking up the hill. Just something. And maybe if I post it out there, that will be my motivation. Something like -- hey, other people are reading this, so they know...and I don't want to disappoint them. You know, something.
But other than this, life is good. That play I wanted to try out for? I managed to snag the lead role in it. It's filled my free time with something fullfilling and wonderful. And when it's over? I know I'm going to be depressed. But I've been bitten by the musical theater bug and I'm definitely going to try to audition at other places. I will shamelessly admit that I love having the spotlight on me. Is that really wrong?