de-friending the dead.
or for that matter deleting their number out of your phone.
you just can't do it.
but every time you pass by their blog/fb/number it's painful.
i went to sit with my grandmother today for a bit during the time
that would have been my aunt's funeral.
she couldn't go and quite frankly I am glad she couldn't go.
no mother should have to see her child in a coffin.
my grandmother said today that she's lead a useless life.
it made me want to cry, but instead i told her i was going to kick
her if she said it again. that's what any good gran'daughter would say right? :)
it struck a chord with me though. i know that there are folks out there who are happy, well
content with their lives. lives that may seem dull to some of us, but they are happy.
it made me think about all the things that my grandmother wished she could have done.
what she wanted to accomplish in her life.
the mother she wanted to be/become.
she got married to my grandfather and voilaaaaaa! 4 more daughters to add to the daughter
and son she already had.
she is only 15 years older than my mother.
(if that)
then POOF! two more baby girls.
8 children before the age of 30 in the 70's.
what a life.
i bet she has more stories to tell than she thinks.
she was friends with my biological grandmother.
she admired her and thought she was so pretty.
she started smoking because of my bio gran.
i'm tired.
you just can't do it.
but every time you pass by their blog/fb/number it's painful.
i went to sit with my grandmother today for a bit during the time
that would have been my aunt's funeral.
she couldn't go and quite frankly I am glad she couldn't go.
no mother should have to see her child in a coffin.
my grandmother said today that she's lead a useless life.
it made me want to cry, but instead i told her i was going to kick
her if she said it again. that's what any good gran'daughter would say right? :)
it struck a chord with me though. i know that there are folks out there who are happy, well
content with their lives. lives that may seem dull to some of us, but they are happy.
it made me think about all the things that my grandmother wished she could have done.
what she wanted to accomplish in her life.
the mother she wanted to be/become.
she got married to my grandfather and voilaaaaaa! 4 more daughters to add to the daughter
and son she already had.
she is only 15 years older than my mother.
(if that)
then POOF! two more baby girls.
8 children before the age of 30 in the 70's.
what a life.
i bet she has more stories to tell than she thinks.
she was friends with my biological grandmother.
she admired her and thought she was so pretty.
she started smoking because of my bio gran.
i'm tired.