above all, i am scared of MAtt leaving.
it's making me sick to my stomach to think about going back to school. i'm scared to death that my classes are going to eat me alive, even though i only signed up for one AP class, which i feel unbelievably guilty about and i don't even think i'll get it. and being in an AP class scares me, but not being in any APs scares me even more. i'm so terrified of getting there on the first day of school and having no one to go off for lunch with, because last year i didn't really have all that many friends at school. there were literally two people that i hung out with outside of school that went to sanderson last year, and it kind of sucked. i feel like this year i need to become much more social and i need to make more friends that i'm actually associated with outside of school too. but at the same time, i'm almost afraid to do that, because i'm afraid that it'll change me and i'll lose someone else (i.e. MATT, christina, alex). and even though chris newman and i weren't all that great of friends last year, i'm scared to death of him NOT being at sanderson this year, and i'm not even sure why. maybe because he was like my closest connection to MAtt, that was still in raleigh. my hands are shaking because i'm so scared of what might come next year. i'm so glad that high school is halfway over, and i'm SO ready and SO excited to get out, but the part in between -- junior and senior year, hard classes, SATs, applying to college, GETTING INTO a college -- scares the living daylights out of me. i mean, i bet i'll be fine and i bet everything will go alright, but i'm still so scared. nothing was scary about sophmore year, and i miss that. but it wasn't all that great either. i don't know.. i'm so hesitant and terrified for the end of summer and the beginning of my junior year, but i'm SO eager to get it over with.
in the past week i've seen My Super Ex-Girlfriend, gone to Frankie's, gone to a KC and the Sunshine Band concert, seen Pirates of the Caribbean at Seven Oaks, and many other things i can't remember. and on monday night alex and i are seeing John Tucker Must Die.
in the past week i've seen My Super Ex-Girlfriend, gone to Frankie's, gone to a KC and the Sunshine Band concert, seen Pirates of the Caribbean at Seven Oaks, and many other things i can't remember. and on monday night alex and i are seeing John Tucker Must Die.