(no subject)
I feel like shit. No not 'wahhhhhh my life sux! LYKE SNIFF SNIFF IM SO DEPRESSED!' ... because im not. That would be why I take Lexapro. If you think your life sux and your so 'depressed' why don't you get a fucking neroligist to get some meds dumbass. Excuse my language. Well I guess I shall talk about my 'birthday'. ;
So Nat and Paris and Unckzles H and Auntie M came over yesterday. March 26th; the twins birthday, but not mine. I wish they could have come on my real birthday but they couldnt. So I guess that yesterday was my birthday party. It's just I feel so sad because pretty much every year f my life I have done SOMETHING on my real birthday. Like in 3rd, 4th, 5th... I had parties on the weekend, but I'd always go to The Thai House with Alan, Adrienne, Nastasia and Mary and Nicole sometimes. God I miss my family. I wish I could say I still have them. But it just would never be the same. Adrienne Marks. You were stupid. You died with all that debt, you didn't appriciate all that Daddy did. But yet we all miss you. But right now I just feel like I want a friend. A year ago was like a different lifetime. I miss it. Not Dobbs. Not Maple Street. Not 'my friends'. Just having a life I guess. Right now I don't know. No you know what. I don't miss having a life, because I never did. My whole life I've been a bitchy, spoiled brat, whose hyper, annoying, mean, self-centered.
DONT YOU THINK I FUCKING NO THAT EVERYONE!?
Well just to tell you. I KNOW! but don't you think that everyone, even the worst criminals deserve friends!? I just hate that feeling of every weekend reading Angie's livejournal knowing that she went out with all her friends, had fun, acted stupid, watched a movie, and knew that she wasn't alone. I must be the only kid I know that her whole life, in the majority of the time goes to the mall, movies, bus, ANYWHERE... alone. It's been 8 years now. I just want a friend. It's not the fact that people say 'aww i will be your friend' or hey dont feel bad on your birthday, i will get you a present. I don't want a present! I don''t want a party! I just want someone, who if I went on a date, and the guy didn't show up, I could call you up crying feeling scared and alone, knowing you would come. Or on my birthday I know you'll call and come over for a hug just because I need somebody. Or if fell asleep on you, you wouldn't mind. I just want friends. Not somebody to hang out with and say 'I'm your friend', but a real friend. I know it takes time, but for me, time is a lifetime.
I guess that's all I have to say.
EDIT: This is my lj, I can say what I want, and if you don't like it than TOO BAD, and I'm not taking this out on anyone specipically besides myself. And I don't have this lj to complain. It's for my thoughts. What I'm feeling. You think I'm complaining ok fine. As I said, think what you want, it's MY journal [even if it IS online]
So Nat and Paris and Unckzles H and Auntie M came over yesterday. March 26th; the twins birthday, but not mine. I wish they could have come on my real birthday but they couldnt. So I guess that yesterday was my birthday party. It's just I feel so sad because pretty much every year f my life I have done SOMETHING on my real birthday. Like in 3rd, 4th, 5th... I had parties on the weekend, but I'd always go to The Thai House with Alan, Adrienne, Nastasia and Mary and Nicole sometimes. God I miss my family. I wish I could say I still have them. But it just would never be the same. Adrienne Marks. You were stupid. You died with all that debt, you didn't appriciate all that Daddy did. But yet we all miss you. But right now I just feel like I want a friend. A year ago was like a different lifetime. I miss it. Not Dobbs. Not Maple Street. Not 'my friends'. Just having a life I guess. Right now I don't know. No you know what. I don't miss having a life, because I never did. My whole life I've been a bitchy, spoiled brat, whose hyper, annoying, mean, self-centered.
DONT YOU THINK I FUCKING NO THAT EVERYONE!?
Well just to tell you. I KNOW! but don't you think that everyone, even the worst criminals deserve friends!? I just hate that feeling of every weekend reading Angie's livejournal knowing that she went out with all her friends, had fun, acted stupid, watched a movie, and knew that she wasn't alone. I must be the only kid I know that her whole life, in the majority of the time goes to the mall, movies, bus, ANYWHERE... alone. It's been 8 years now. I just want a friend. It's not the fact that people say 'aww i will be your friend' or hey dont feel bad on your birthday, i will get you a present. I don't want a present! I don''t want a party! I just want someone, who if I went on a date, and the guy didn't show up, I could call you up crying feeling scared and alone, knowing you would come. Or on my birthday I know you'll call and come over for a hug just because I need somebody. Or if fell asleep on you, you wouldn't mind. I just want friends. Not somebody to hang out with and say 'I'm your friend', but a real friend. I know it takes time, but for me, time is a lifetime.
I guess that's all I have to say.
EDIT: This is my lj, I can say what I want, and if you don't like it than TOO BAD, and I'm not taking this out on anyone specipically besides myself. And I don't have this lj to complain. It's for my thoughts. What I'm feeling. You think I'm complaining ok fine. As I said, think what you want, it's MY journal [even if it IS online]