(no subject)
i feel like i have to get this out of my system..
today was really like blah for me. My stomach hurt all day, i felt like shit, and that i was alone. My mommy yelled at me today, and i seriously just felt like crying all day and cuddling with kyle. :)
i realized a lot today. I finally got my period at this time of night, but whatever. I deffenitly feel like if i could redu this entire day, i'd do it in a heart beat. But you know what? at the same time, it's like people aren't always gonna be happy because that's not real life and i know that, i just hate admiting to it i guess. But I believe in myself more, and i realize how much someone really needs to in order to succeed in life. I never used to be confident in myself, and i'm not saying it's like automatic boose or anything, i just feel more relieved, and you know, this entire day for me was a phase, and sometimes people just do that.
It's like, i wanna be perfect, but nobody is, and i'm willing to accept that, and all i want is to succeed, and be loved. Thats all. And really, i know i have the love part. I probably must have been the most boring person on the planet today, but you know, that was okay, because he still stuck around, and that really means he loves me. And he's loved me since day one, and will never not believe in me, and i thank him for that. And the fact that i couldn't realize that earlier is really sad, but idc. That's the past, and this is now. And all i know, from this day on, i'm gonna be the best i can be. I will love until my heart can no longer beat, and be something in life that i know i will love doing. And seriously, that's all i really wanna do.
No more of this doubting myself bullshit, it's time to let myself go with the flow like i always used to, i will not be scared any longer. AND KYLE!!!!I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!
so yeah. that's it. that's basically what's been on my mind all day, but not anymore. Its time to think about school, and other things in my life. If i doubt ever again, there will be a war. lmao
but seriously, i'm done.
i feel like i can go on and on about this, but it's the same stuff, and finally, the best part of my day was talking to kyle, because i just didn't talk all day, and that's all i wanted to do for like a little bit. And its nice to talk about things...he's soo adorable. omg.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love you all
Maria
today was really like blah for me. My stomach hurt all day, i felt like shit, and that i was alone. My mommy yelled at me today, and i seriously just felt like crying all day and cuddling with kyle. :)
i realized a lot today. I finally got my period at this time of night, but whatever. I deffenitly feel like if i could redu this entire day, i'd do it in a heart beat. But you know what? at the same time, it's like people aren't always gonna be happy because that's not real life and i know that, i just hate admiting to it i guess. But I believe in myself more, and i realize how much someone really needs to in order to succeed in life. I never used to be confident in myself, and i'm not saying it's like automatic boose or anything, i just feel more relieved, and you know, this entire day for me was a phase, and sometimes people just do that.
It's like, i wanna be perfect, but nobody is, and i'm willing to accept that, and all i want is to succeed, and be loved. Thats all. And really, i know i have the love part. I probably must have been the most boring person on the planet today, but you know, that was okay, because he still stuck around, and that really means he loves me. And he's loved me since day one, and will never not believe in me, and i thank him for that. And the fact that i couldn't realize that earlier is really sad, but idc. That's the past, and this is now. And all i know, from this day on, i'm gonna be the best i can be. I will love until my heart can no longer beat, and be something in life that i know i will love doing. And seriously, that's all i really wanna do.
No more of this doubting myself bullshit, it's time to let myself go with the flow like i always used to, i will not be scared any longer. AND KYLE!!!!I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!
so yeah. that's it. that's basically what's been on my mind all day, but not anymore. Its time to think about school, and other things in my life. If i doubt ever again, there will be a war. lmao
but seriously, i'm done.
i feel like i can go on and on about this, but it's the same stuff, and finally, the best part of my day was talking to kyle, because i just didn't talk all day, and that's all i wanted to do for like a little bit. And its nice to talk about things...he's soo adorable. omg.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love you all
Maria