Mind control
Reading this article in Science magazine about the fact that when the mind wanders, it tends to wander to thoughts that worsen one's mood, dovetailed nicely with a lot of thoughts I've been having lately about mindfulness. In short, my mind races (as does apparently everyone's) but I really want to be proactive about this. One option is to quiet the mind through exercises like mindfulness, diaphragmatic breathing, and other efforts to increasing consciousness and control one's own thoughts.
But whenever I think about self-control I also think about structure and agency. When should I see the anxiety as motivation to struggle? When am I really mentally working towards solving a problem that needs to be solved? When should I fight and when should I accept limitations?
There is a Christian prayer that my grandmother had in a framed piece of needlepoint in her home: God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference
What I want right now is that serenity. Because anxiety stifles both acceptance and courage. But the trick in this is not to stop thinking, but rather to think wisely. For me, that means writing more. Because when I'm writing--more so than when talking--my thoughts become the task at hand. Unlike during pretty much every other activity, when I'm writing sorting through my thoughts is the official job of my mind, rather than a distraction.
This is my answer to the structure and agency problem: make the thoughts concrete and work from there.
So I am trying to be mindful, and to working to control what my head does, but I am also go to try making a more concerted effort to write as a method of self-control/discipline. I've been journaling a lot lately, but there's also something extra disciplining about writing when I know someone else might read it. It takes more care and editing to make it into something I would be comfortable showing others.
But whenever I think about self-control I also think about structure and agency. When should I see the anxiety as motivation to struggle? When am I really mentally working towards solving a problem that needs to be solved? When should I fight and when should I accept limitations?
There is a Christian prayer that my grandmother had in a framed piece of needlepoint in her home: God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference
What I want right now is that serenity. Because anxiety stifles both acceptance and courage. But the trick in this is not to stop thinking, but rather to think wisely. For me, that means writing more. Because when I'm writing--more so than when talking--my thoughts become the task at hand. Unlike during pretty much every other activity, when I'm writing sorting through my thoughts is the official job of my mind, rather than a distraction.
This is my answer to the structure and agency problem: make the thoughts concrete and work from there.
So I am trying to be mindful, and to working to control what my head does, but I am also go to try making a more concerted effort to write as a method of self-control/discipline. I've been journaling a lot lately, but there's also something extra disciplining about writing when I know someone else might read it. It takes more care and editing to make it into something I would be comfortable showing others.