Relief
tenner left this morning for Massachusetts after a nice relaxing weekend at home. I tried to make sure that we did lots of positive, affirming things that made him feel good about his life, and that made him realize that he is part of a team that loves him, supports him and is there to help him through this tough time. We inspected our cars (YAY! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!! No thanks to the bank, but due to awesome NY DMV employees, we finally are all set. Whew!) on Saturday, and after Jim returns the plates later today, we'll be THROUGH dealing with basically all of the bureaucratic BS that moving required. It is a great feeling to know I won't be spending my days yelling at various pee-ons asking where the forms I need are, or that I won't be scared that I will be sans car due to no fact of my own. Finally, the license plates say "NY", and I can drop one more worry off my plate.
Back to the weekend. Anyway, we went to the Farmer's Market, watched "Queer Eye...", did laundry, hung out, laughed, made tasty food, hung some wall art, hung some curtain rods and generally had a nice relaxing weekend. We both needed it.
I didn't realize how much the DMV and other bureaucratic stuff was weighing on me until this morning, after I said goodbye to Jim at 6:00. As I sat down at the computer to look for jobs, I realized that I no longer needed to worry about leaving time for dealing with the DMV, banks and other nonsense. It was a great feeling. Half of my issues have been that I've had a lot of things to keep track of as of late, and I've been terrified that I was going to forget about something crucial and have everything blow up in our faces. Now I can truly concentrate on my job search.
Another thing that has helped is that while I'm still working very hard at my job search, I've stopped beating myself up because I haven't found anything immediately. Maybe it was the job fair last Thursday, where my friend and I walked in the door to find ourselves the sole applicants, and only four booths (at least two unmanned) that held employers. It is depressing to realize that there are not many people hiring, but on the other hand, I feel better because it isn't like everyone else is getting jobs except me. I didn't miss some crucial life memo that is preventing me from working. Instead, this is just one of those times in my life where it is best to just sit things out, find something that helps me gain experience and pays the bills, and give it time.
To that end, I've applied for temporary office work positions with Adecco. I'm willing to do just about any office work, in the hopes that I'll find decent experience and contacts in this area. I'm still applying for full-time jobs, but until I land an actual full-time job, I'm hoping to bring in a little income and find some local contacts who might be able to help me.
Jim and I are also discussing various ways that we could make it work to have him spend more/all his time out here, rather than in NY. I am very committed to getting him out here ASAP. To that end, we are discussing going to a four day week for starters. We're also seeing what other kinds of options we can find out here regarding employment and such, balancing our need to pay bills with our need to be in the same location. tenner's mental health is important...we need to make sure that he doesn't sacrifice it especially since there are alternatives that we haven't considered or explored yet. We are in this together, and it is only together that we'll get through.
In other news, I'm still exploring my options regarding the library science profession. I'd like to find a staff job in a library, and to that end have bookmarked all the local academic libraries. When something comes open, I'll apply immediately. Once I'm able to determine whether I like the field, I'll think about going back for more schooling. However, it will need to be subsidized by my employer, so for now this is on hold.
I guess that I'm busy right now, but refreshed from the weekend. And I'm hopeful that things will indeed work out. In fact, I have faith they will. The key is taking a look around occasionally for perspective and making sure we keep our heads above. Plus, we need to remember that we aren't in this alone: we have each other, our friends and support from at least one of our families. Things aren't always easy, but this doesn't mean that you are doing anything wrong. It just means that for whatever reason, things are going to take more time and effort than at other points in one's life. Sometimes the only things you have in life are yourself, your family and friends, and the faith that you are doing the right thing for yourself. Our team of each other, as well as our family and friends, are there to make sure that we don't lose our faith in the future, even when times look bleak.
Careers are important, but they are not all. At the end of my life, I will not look around and think "I wish I had had a high powered career." I may be ambitious, but I have learned that without someone to work for, ambition is nothing. It doesn't hug you after a hard day. It doesn't write you an email saying "You'll get through, I believe in you!"
What this means is, just as you build your personal life over time, I have realized that I have time to build a career. This setback will work itself out in time. In the meantime, I need to keep looking, and I need to focus on keeping my team, the reason I will work, strong.
Thank you to each and every one of you who reads this. You provide us support, love, an ear to listen to and countless other things that have made it possible for us to make this change in our lives. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Back to the weekend. Anyway, we went to the Farmer's Market, watched "Queer Eye...", did laundry, hung out, laughed, made tasty food, hung some wall art, hung some curtain rods and generally had a nice relaxing weekend. We both needed it.
I didn't realize how much the DMV and other bureaucratic stuff was weighing on me until this morning, after I said goodbye to Jim at 6:00. As I sat down at the computer to look for jobs, I realized that I no longer needed to worry about leaving time for dealing with the DMV, banks and other nonsense. It was a great feeling. Half of my issues have been that I've had a lot of things to keep track of as of late, and I've been terrified that I was going to forget about something crucial and have everything blow up in our faces. Now I can truly concentrate on my job search.
Another thing that has helped is that while I'm still working very hard at my job search, I've stopped beating myself up because I haven't found anything immediately. Maybe it was the job fair last Thursday, where my friend and I walked in the door to find ourselves the sole applicants, and only four booths (at least two unmanned) that held employers. It is depressing to realize that there are not many people hiring, but on the other hand, I feel better because it isn't like everyone else is getting jobs except me. I didn't miss some crucial life memo that is preventing me from working. Instead, this is just one of those times in my life where it is best to just sit things out, find something that helps me gain experience and pays the bills, and give it time.
To that end, I've applied for temporary office work positions with Adecco. I'm willing to do just about any office work, in the hopes that I'll find decent experience and contacts in this area. I'm still applying for full-time jobs, but until I land an actual full-time job, I'm hoping to bring in a little income and find some local contacts who might be able to help me.
Jim and I are also discussing various ways that we could make it work to have him spend more/all his time out here, rather than in NY. I am very committed to getting him out here ASAP. To that end, we are discussing going to a four day week for starters. We're also seeing what other kinds of options we can find out here regarding employment and such, balancing our need to pay bills with our need to be in the same location. tenner's mental health is important...we need to make sure that he doesn't sacrifice it especially since there are alternatives that we haven't considered or explored yet. We are in this together, and it is only together that we'll get through.
In other news, I'm still exploring my options regarding the library science profession. I'd like to find a staff job in a library, and to that end have bookmarked all the local academic libraries. When something comes open, I'll apply immediately. Once I'm able to determine whether I like the field, I'll think about going back for more schooling. However, it will need to be subsidized by my employer, so for now this is on hold.
I guess that I'm busy right now, but refreshed from the weekend. And I'm hopeful that things will indeed work out. In fact, I have faith they will. The key is taking a look around occasionally for perspective and making sure we keep our heads above. Plus, we need to remember that we aren't in this alone: we have each other, our friends and support from at least one of our families. Things aren't always easy, but this doesn't mean that you are doing anything wrong. It just means that for whatever reason, things are going to take more time and effort than at other points in one's life. Sometimes the only things you have in life are yourself, your family and friends, and the faith that you are doing the right thing for yourself. Our team of each other, as well as our family and friends, are there to make sure that we don't lose our faith in the future, even when times look bleak.
Careers are important, but they are not all. At the end of my life, I will not look around and think "I wish I had had a high powered career." I may be ambitious, but I have learned that without someone to work for, ambition is nothing. It doesn't hug you after a hard day. It doesn't write you an email saying "You'll get through, I believe in you!"
What this means is, just as you build your personal life over time, I have realized that I have time to build a career. This setback will work itself out in time. In the meantime, I need to keep looking, and I need to focus on keeping my team, the reason I will work, strong.
Thank you to each and every one of you who reads this. You provide us support, love, an ear to listen to and countless other things that have made it possible for us to make this change in our lives. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.