What will I do when I grow up?
As I do some self-reflection, I’m taking a deep look at myself and what I’ve done in my jobs so far, in the hopes that by analyzing past decisions I can avoid future mistakes, and perhaps I can figure out what my next step should be
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You are not a whiner, nor do you have unrealistic expectations. Bad jobs come in cycles. Been there, done that. Take the first bad job, company treats me like crap. I stick with it as long as I can take it (stress induced migraines and all) because I don't want to feel like I'm a crybaby. When the stress level gets so bad that I can't do it anymore, I bail and take the first job that I can find. The new job sounds wonderful and actually IS wonderful for the first few weeks or even months. Things eventually go to shit again, because there were fundamental problems with the job/boss/company that I overlooked in my overwhelming need to escape the previous hellhole. And the vicious cycle continues. I've spent 4 years wondering if there's a problem with me; am I just not employable? I work my ass off and I know my stuff, but somehow I always end up with problems.
It's not me, and it's definitely not you. You (and I) had the misfortune to get the first crappy job, and everything snowballs after that.
The only way to break the cycle is to figure out what you really want to do, and stick with your job from hell until you find the RIGHT job. Don't settle for the "right now" job.
You are a very intelligent professional with a strong educational background and marketable skills. You WILL find the kind of work you can feel good about doing.
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