it's high school all over again.
Ever since I've moved home (and then out and then home again, and again-- notice the trend), I have had recurring dreams of me failing high school. The dream and subject-fail du jour change, but it is always high school. Never college. Never at my past or current jobs.
And often it's not me failing from lack of knowledge. Just lots of waiting and not being able to show up for class because illness or whatever got in the way. In fact sometimes it's just me sitting in a classroom all by myself. Or other times it is listening to a teacher decide if I can do yet another make up test or assignment.
It's not just people from high school though, people mix from all parts of my life- high school, elementary, college, AmeriCorps, old jobs. Strike that no one who knows me as the aquatic-tess or as mad scientist make it in. Everyone else does though, in one of those might start out as one person and change several times over the course of the remembered dream amorphous ways.
Even more odd is that I hardly ever remember dreams in general. But these I remember. Usually lasts a couple nights in a row too- off and on for up to months on end.
I mean I get it too. No need over-analyze it.
It's hard moving home and not being as independent as I like. I know it is for the better and I would do it again, but obviously my subconscious still gives it a lot of thought than I would like. Add in a failed relationship it probably doesn't help either.
It's also when all my health stuff truly began. Back in the high school days- at least more discernibly. I just didn't realize it would be as chronic as it was. Still I don't miss those damn seizures ;) I missed a lot of school my senior year, and the days I was there I barely remember thanks to the almost year long migraine and loads of deja-vu (apparently at such a high level was more mini seizures). Who knew this was just the beginning. Luckily I don't have to deal with that particular issue any more.
So I get it. It's just odd. I keep trying to find a reason that it keeps happening though, like maybe something I can learn from it. But really I suppose it is just my brain working through it. I suppose better in my subconscious than having any real-estate in my day- to-day.
And often it's not me failing from lack of knowledge. Just lots of waiting and not being able to show up for class because illness or whatever got in the way. In fact sometimes it's just me sitting in a classroom all by myself. Or other times it is listening to a teacher decide if I can do yet another make up test or assignment.
It's not just people from high school though, people mix from all parts of my life- high school, elementary, college, AmeriCorps, old jobs. Strike that no one who knows me as the aquatic-tess or as mad scientist make it in. Everyone else does though, in one of those might start out as one person and change several times over the course of the remembered dream amorphous ways.
Even more odd is that I hardly ever remember dreams in general. But these I remember. Usually lasts a couple nights in a row too- off and on for up to months on end.
I mean I get it too. No need over-analyze it.
It's hard moving home and not being as independent as I like. I know it is for the better and I would do it again, but obviously my subconscious still gives it a lot of thought than I would like. Add in a failed relationship it probably doesn't help either.
It's also when all my health stuff truly began. Back in the high school days- at least more discernibly. I just didn't realize it would be as chronic as it was. Still I don't miss those damn seizures ;) I missed a lot of school my senior year, and the days I was there I barely remember thanks to the almost year long migraine and loads of deja-vu (apparently at such a high level was more mini seizures). Who knew this was just the beginning. Luckily I don't have to deal with that particular issue any more.
So I get it. It's just odd. I keep trying to find a reason that it keeps happening though, like maybe something I can learn from it. But really I suppose it is just my brain working through it. I suppose better in my subconscious than having any real-estate in my day- to-day.