welcome back carter
so a year and 3months later, and a a whole lot of shit happening, some awesome, some heart-braking, I am back...
the absence can be explained by my constant access to my own kitchen, the catharsis of choice. but now it has gone, and it looks like I need back my old place to purge. it does a body good. not mention what it does for the soul.
It was time to find myself here again.
I sit here watching Young@Heart and reflecting on the funk of the last week. I've been so exhausted and not sleeping more than norm, the past week and beyond, and totally depleted any emotional, mental and physical reserve I may have had. An exhaustion of my soul. One of the weeks where I am crying at the drop of a hat over things that would normally never even phase me. Where I have been crying myself to sleep at night, mostly because I can't even really sleep at night.
But something happened last night, at the and of a long and arduous day that concluded a similar week. Long story short I've had plans to attend the symphony for weeks now, not to mention I've had it in my heart to see this production for months since I knew about its existence (Carmina Burana- Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra with the May Festival and Children's Choir). And it almost all fell apart at the last moment, literally 1.5 hrs before go time. and when it became viable as an option, I almost passed up the opp because I was just so incredibly done.
But we went and I have never been as glad to have gone than I did last night. The music was incredible. The performance beyond words. They nailed it. They gave it new breath. And took it beyond. like a conversation between all the parts- the choirs, the instruments, the soloists, the conductor, the audience, the words, and the music. And it touched me at my deepest self.
It filled me with all that I had been lacking the past week.
Again the world proves that when you have been kicked on your ass, feeling all the loss, losing all control, sometimes you get what you need.
For that, I am grateful. And my heart is full once again.
the absence can be explained by my constant access to my own kitchen, the catharsis of choice. but now it has gone, and it looks like I need back my old place to purge. it does a body good. not mention what it does for the soul.
It was time to find myself here again.
I sit here watching Young@Heart and reflecting on the funk of the last week. I've been so exhausted and not sleeping more than norm, the past week and beyond, and totally depleted any emotional, mental and physical reserve I may have had. An exhaustion of my soul. One of the weeks where I am crying at the drop of a hat over things that would normally never even phase me. Where I have been crying myself to sleep at night, mostly because I can't even really sleep at night.
But something happened last night, at the and of a long and arduous day that concluded a similar week. Long story short I've had plans to attend the symphony for weeks now, not to mention I've had it in my heart to see this production for months since I knew about its existence (Carmina Burana- Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra with the May Festival and Children's Choir). And it almost all fell apart at the last moment, literally 1.5 hrs before go time. and when it became viable as an option, I almost passed up the opp because I was just so incredibly done.
But we went and I have never been as glad to have gone than I did last night. The music was incredible. The performance beyond words. They nailed it. They gave it new breath. And took it beyond. like a conversation between all the parts- the choirs, the instruments, the soloists, the conductor, the audience, the words, and the music. And it touched me at my deepest self.
It filled me with all that I had been lacking the past week.
Again the world proves that when you have been kicked on your ass, feeling all the loss, losing all control, sometimes you get what you need.
For that, I am grateful. And my heart is full once again.