Der Blaue Engel
let there be a wailing and a gnashing. i was doing so well. i can still fight it. someone from long ago, the boy who used to come into the cafe and who i spied sliding down the rails drunk at union square is back. i am falling and i have to put this one here or start a new one or just not fucking write it: but if i write it here no one will read it so this is like a well. not a well. a pussywillow. a cattail. i will sing my secret here and noone's ass will have ears.
I was doing so well; fucking asses and sucking and shooting it right up against their holes but not inside and not falling. A guy i met just left. ANOTHER filipino, which was a surprise. His cock on my stomach and i am playing with his ass. I rub my head against his hole and his body spasms. I think he's worried i'm gonna stick it in raw and start to say something but he ejaculates I'm coming, and without either of us touching it shoots hot hot from the wall down to my navel. My left eye is still burning. On his way in he had recognized a couple of his friends on my polaroid wall. Now they will have something to talk about. I talk too much.
The point is; as hot as Filipino #42 was - his furry hole and thick cock and hands-free fountain, etc. etc., when i got off i was thinking about the sarah lawrence boy. Falling is exactly what I don't need right now. I need to take the lessons I've learned from my holiday trip home and make something. His suitcases are here in my room. I told him he could stay until he moves into his sublet in february, but he was out tonight, sleeping with his boss. I need to stop sleeping with him. For now at least. But then shouldn't I sleep with him while he's still around? Before he is taken by manhattan?
I would do anything for you. I would climb mountains. I would swim all the oceans blue. I would walk a thousand miles reveal my secrets more than enough for me to share i would put roses round our door sit in the garden growing potatoes by the score.
falling is wrong, tristan. fuck these new people that jump out and leave the past alone.