I like this. I'm not sure if it's how you meant it, but it reminds me of Camus's 'The Outsider'. An example of how the world can't cope with someone who doesn't fit in with normal conventions.. who dares to be unhuman. He loses his job, gets kicked out and ultimatley dies, all for not responding in the ways we're supposed to respond.
I'm glad you read it that way ... it was meant to be a savage indictment of capitalism, and you pretty much picked that up ... obviously it needs a lot of development, for example Niall (Nihil) probably needs a few lines to show that he's not just mentally handicapped.
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