Drowning in my Life
Depression isn't nice. It's void of energy and full of passion.
It saps you of your ability yet renders you full of ambition.
Why can't I just wake up in the morning?
Why don't I jog before school anymore?
Walk the dog?
Do the dishes?
LAUNDRY?!?!
Now I do nothing but wallow in my own self pity. It's almost as
if I can't fix my own problems anymore. Ground zero.
My friends have been throwing me out. It's almost as if I had
pissed them off or something. However, I don't think that I
did anything to do so. I guess that I should ask. Then again,
considering my depression issues, maybe I shouldn't. Perhaps
it'd be best if I just left them hanging just as they've left me.
I mean, that's only fair. If they can do this to me without an explaination
then I suppose that it's alright if I just leave it be.
It's not like it'll help me in the long run.
I told Melissa that I can't go through any more of this "fareweather friend" bullshit.
Though she said that she won't do this anymore...she continues. All continue.
I guess that I'll just leave it at this, "what the hell did I ever do to you to make you so damned pissy?". Fuck it. They're not even worth my time anymore. I have much bigger issues on my plate.
So I'm walking to school with Jimmy this morning. Yes. Jimmy. My best friend from last
year whom I haven't spoken with in FOREVER. I miss him, yes. However...he kind of rid of me
for a girl to like him. That's unbelievably unforgivable, but I understand the stress of
women and I'll ask him about it some time. I'm sure that there's more reason in this.
I mean, he WAS my BEST friend. Whatever happened...I don't know. I just miss him. That's
all that counts I guess. He had proven himself to be a loyal friend countless times before
this girl. I guess that I should blame it on her? NO. Jimmy's in absolute control of his actions, but that doesn't mean that life can't have it's pursusion on him. He's pussy whipped. I know.
I guess that I'll give him a chance just because I get the situation & I love how good of friends we were. Poor guy...I really miss the old Jimmy and how many awsome times we shared.
Now today's the last day of school.
....the LAST day in this hell hole.
Well...two more years after this, but that's okay.
Highschool can bite my ass.
Honestly, I hate it with a passion.
I don't understand any of those people and none of them understand me.
I just sit there and try to finish whatever book I've been reading lately.
School's only a good place to wait.
I wait to graduate.
I'm there to leave.
It's not like I'm trying to pay attention to any of the bull that they attept to cram down my brain.
Blah.
aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
I'll be at Anh's place this weekend so no more updates til Sunday. <3
luv,
El spiffAI
It saps you of your ability yet renders you full of ambition.
Why can't I just wake up in the morning?
Why don't I jog before school anymore?
Walk the dog?
Do the dishes?
LAUNDRY?!?!
Now I do nothing but wallow in my own self pity. It's almost as
if I can't fix my own problems anymore. Ground zero.
My friends have been throwing me out. It's almost as if I had
pissed them off or something. However, I don't think that I
did anything to do so. I guess that I should ask. Then again,
considering my depression issues, maybe I shouldn't. Perhaps
it'd be best if I just left them hanging just as they've left me.
I mean, that's only fair. If they can do this to me without an explaination
then I suppose that it's alright if I just leave it be.
It's not like it'll help me in the long run.
I told Melissa that I can't go through any more of this "fareweather friend" bullshit.
Though she said that she won't do this anymore...she continues. All continue.
I guess that I'll just leave it at this, "what the hell did I ever do to you to make you so damned pissy?". Fuck it. They're not even worth my time anymore. I have much bigger issues on my plate.
So I'm walking to school with Jimmy this morning. Yes. Jimmy. My best friend from last
year whom I haven't spoken with in FOREVER. I miss him, yes. However...he kind of rid of me
for a girl to like him. That's unbelievably unforgivable, but I understand the stress of
women and I'll ask him about it some time. I'm sure that there's more reason in this.
I mean, he WAS my BEST friend. Whatever happened...I don't know. I just miss him. That's
all that counts I guess. He had proven himself to be a loyal friend countless times before
this girl. I guess that I should blame it on her? NO. Jimmy's in absolute control of his actions, but that doesn't mean that life can't have it's pursusion on him. He's pussy whipped. I know.
I guess that I'll give him a chance just because I get the situation & I love how good of friends we were. Poor guy...I really miss the old Jimmy and how many awsome times we shared.
Now today's the last day of school.
....the LAST day in this hell hole.
Well...two more years after this, but that's okay.
Highschool can bite my ass.
Honestly, I hate it with a passion.
I don't understand any of those people and none of them understand me.
I just sit there and try to finish whatever book I've been reading lately.
School's only a good place to wait.
I wait to graduate.
I'm there to leave.
It's not like I'm trying to pay attention to any of the bull that they attept to cram down my brain.
Blah.
aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
I'll be at Anh's place this weekend so no more updates til Sunday. <3
luv,
El spiffAI