Hello Friends
Hello Lovelies, I've missed you.
Things in my life have taken an incredible turn.
I am pregnant. 27 1/2 weeks pregnant to be exact. so thats like 6 1/2 months or so. I am having a baby boy and he is due on May 14th. He was diagnosed with Cleft Lip and Cleft Palate. It will take some surgeries after he is born to get his palate the way it should be and his lip, but its nothing life threatening. I am nervous to be a mother. What an innocent life to leave in my hands. I believe in myself, I believe in Jonathan. We can raise our son in the best way we know how. I fear that I will be to much of a friend to my child and less of a mother. I want to be both. It's so important to have a mother who loves you and understands you, yet also has authority in your life. We are naming our baby boy Reuben Israel Goss.
By the way, I am married as of new years eve.... Jon and I just decided that was the day. We just went for it. I am glad to not of had a fancy wedding and just do something in the court house. My mom was too involved with previous wedding plans. I felt like it was her wedding and I was just a doll she was playing with.... None of my ideas really matched hers. I am a hippie at heart, and care-free. I wanted something more earthy, my mom wanted something extravagant. Very formal just isn't comfortable for me. Jon and I will probably renew our vow's some day and make it an experience of how we wanted our wedding to be.
We are living in the Brookshore apartments. We have a loft along with a downstairs bedroom. We have a walk in closet upstairs which is huge!! We were looking at hydroponic setups at the shop downtown and we could set up something in our closet for about 500$ just starting out. Imagine growing fruits or veggies in your closet:P I wish I had my own house so we could actually do some gardening.
We also have a fire place in our apartment which is nice but it doesn't put out much heat.
My life is very quiet and very calm. I haven't been this calmed down since I can actually remember in my life. Maybe its a first? I feel like a completely different person these days. Being married has settled me down along with being in a relationship with one person for so long. I've really lost my interest in hanging out with friends often, partying, concerts, doing anything that requires being social. I'm not depressed, I just don't have much to me anymore. Jon says I am like a little hermit crab... I don't want to do anything that involves anyone lately. I think he is starting to get bored, as am I. I just have nothing that excites me enough to get me going. Jonathan works at Good Samaritan Hospital in Corvallis.... and I lost my job. It's hard to find a new job being pregnant so I just hang out at the apartment all day. I go on walks, work on art, practice cooking, re arrange the baby room. I guess I've become boring..... haha
crazyness. I need to snap out of being so mellow. I think I'm going to drive myself crazy here soon.
I need some motivation to want to become motivated. Where do we get that from?
Mostly life is good. I do manage to visit some friends, and sometimes have company over. I visit family more than I had previously been spending time with them. There are tons of people I miss. maybe I just have given up on being a part of their lives again some day, as them a part of mine. The only part of my life my past friends are in, are the missing part of my life.. They have become memories and people that i think of often and find myself missing too much. I miss my past, but the future has so much yet to come.. maybe it will be better than what I've already lived?
Things in my life have taken an incredible turn.
I am pregnant. 27 1/2 weeks pregnant to be exact. so thats like 6 1/2 months or so. I am having a baby boy and he is due on May 14th. He was diagnosed with Cleft Lip and Cleft Palate. It will take some surgeries after he is born to get his palate the way it should be and his lip, but its nothing life threatening. I am nervous to be a mother. What an innocent life to leave in my hands. I believe in myself, I believe in Jonathan. We can raise our son in the best way we know how. I fear that I will be to much of a friend to my child and less of a mother. I want to be both. It's so important to have a mother who loves you and understands you, yet also has authority in your life. We are naming our baby boy Reuben Israel Goss.
By the way, I am married as of new years eve.... Jon and I just decided that was the day. We just went for it. I am glad to not of had a fancy wedding and just do something in the court house. My mom was too involved with previous wedding plans. I felt like it was her wedding and I was just a doll she was playing with.... None of my ideas really matched hers. I am a hippie at heart, and care-free. I wanted something more earthy, my mom wanted something extravagant. Very formal just isn't comfortable for me. Jon and I will probably renew our vow's some day and make it an experience of how we wanted our wedding to be.
We are living in the Brookshore apartments. We have a loft along with a downstairs bedroom. We have a walk in closet upstairs which is huge!! We were looking at hydroponic setups at the shop downtown and we could set up something in our closet for about 500$ just starting out. Imagine growing fruits or veggies in your closet:P I wish I had my own house so we could actually do some gardening.
We also have a fire place in our apartment which is nice but it doesn't put out much heat.
My life is very quiet and very calm. I haven't been this calmed down since I can actually remember in my life. Maybe its a first? I feel like a completely different person these days. Being married has settled me down along with being in a relationship with one person for so long. I've really lost my interest in hanging out with friends often, partying, concerts, doing anything that requires being social. I'm not depressed, I just don't have much to me anymore. Jon says I am like a little hermit crab... I don't want to do anything that involves anyone lately. I think he is starting to get bored, as am I. I just have nothing that excites me enough to get me going. Jonathan works at Good Samaritan Hospital in Corvallis.... and I lost my job. It's hard to find a new job being pregnant so I just hang out at the apartment all day. I go on walks, work on art, practice cooking, re arrange the baby room. I guess I've become boring..... haha
crazyness. I need to snap out of being so mellow. I think I'm going to drive myself crazy here soon.
I need some motivation to want to become motivated. Where do we get that from?
Mostly life is good. I do manage to visit some friends, and sometimes have company over. I visit family more than I had previously been spending time with them. There are tons of people I miss. maybe I just have given up on being a part of their lives again some day, as them a part of mine. The only part of my life my past friends are in, are the missing part of my life.. They have become memories and people that i think of often and find myself missing too much. I miss my past, but the future has so much yet to come.. maybe it will be better than what I've already lived?