Superman movie pitches
I blame ronebofh.
(10:15:01) palecur: Grant Morrison Superman?
(10:15:57) palecur: "My pitch is this: 'Superman' is not an individual alien, but a 3-dimensional cross-section of a higher-dimensional overmind that calls itself 'Krypt-on', sent to Earth to realign a cosmic flow of energy from the future. Also, everyone takes lots of drugs and fucks all the time."
(10:16:05) palecur: There, give me lots of money.
(10:16:15) ronebofh: palecur: not Morrisonian enough
(10:16:23) arian1: but that was a good try
(10:16:23) palecur: I think I got all the major tropes.
(10:16:35) arian1: I'm holding out for Garth Ennis' Superman
(10:16:52) ronebofh: palecur: you should've thrown 'hermaphrodite' in there
(10:17:07) palecur: damn, you're right. And not nearly enough chaos magick references
(10:20:46) palecur: Garth Ennis Superman: "Superman totally pokes a 'ole in this bloke's bonce, see, wif 'is finger, roight, then 'e pulls down 'is, loike, super trousers and gives the poor bastard a roight proper skullfucking, see?" [Drains pint glass, throws up on script, passes out]
(10:21:06) ronebofh: that's better than what i was writing.
(10:21:28) ronebofh: "Because Superman is a wee bollix."
(10:40:57) palecur: Warren Ellis Superman: "Superman and Lex Luthor are in it together, generating fear and hate. Hate and fear. It makes the population easier to control, and mold, and guide in a direction more to their liking. Global warming? Luthor's using Kryptonian technology to accelerate climate change, making a hot, swampy Earth that's more hospitable for his reptoid masters. Superman is just a force-grown biological abomination made of combined reptoid and human DNA -- the reason his skin is so tough is because there's scales underneath it. Why do you think he's 'solar powered'? His reptoid heritage makes him crave the sun." [searches venue for hidden recording devices]
(10:41:41) palecur: "Also, Lois Lane injects saline solution into her labia in a prolonged scene that has nothing to do with the plot."
(10:42:54) arian1: hahaha
(10:43:31) arian1: Ok sooo...Superman by Joss Whedon
(10:43:34) arian1: Go
(10:45:31) palecur: "Superman fights a skinny barefoot chick, played by Summer Glau. She throws him against a building and debris falls off, impaling Jimmy Olsen."
(10:45:32) palecur: next
(10:15:01) palecur: Grant Morrison Superman?
(10:15:57) palecur: "My pitch is this: 'Superman' is not an individual alien, but a 3-dimensional cross-section of a higher-dimensional overmind that calls itself 'Krypt-on', sent to Earth to realign a cosmic flow of energy from the future. Also, everyone takes lots of drugs and fucks all the time."
(10:16:05) palecur: There, give me lots of money.
(10:16:15) ronebofh: palecur: not Morrisonian enough
(10:16:23) arian1: but that was a good try
(10:16:23) palecur: I think I got all the major tropes.
(10:16:35) arian1: I'm holding out for Garth Ennis' Superman
(10:16:52) ronebofh: palecur: you should've thrown 'hermaphrodite' in there
(10:17:07) palecur: damn, you're right. And not nearly enough chaos magick references
(10:20:46) palecur: Garth Ennis Superman: "Superman totally pokes a 'ole in this bloke's bonce, see, wif 'is finger, roight, then 'e pulls down 'is, loike, super trousers and gives the poor bastard a roight proper skullfucking, see?" [Drains pint glass, throws up on script, passes out]
(10:21:06) ronebofh: that's better than what i was writing.
(10:21:28) ronebofh: "Because Superman is a wee bollix."
(10:40:57) palecur: Warren Ellis Superman: "Superman and Lex Luthor are in it together, generating fear and hate. Hate and fear. It makes the population easier to control, and mold, and guide in a direction more to their liking. Global warming? Luthor's using Kryptonian technology to accelerate climate change, making a hot, swampy Earth that's more hospitable for his reptoid masters. Superman is just a force-grown biological abomination made of combined reptoid and human DNA -- the reason his skin is so tough is because there's scales underneath it. Why do you think he's 'solar powered'? His reptoid heritage makes him crave the sun." [searches venue for hidden recording devices]
(10:41:41) palecur: "Also, Lois Lane injects saline solution into her labia in a prolonged scene that has nothing to do with the plot."
(10:42:54) arian1: hahaha
(10:43:31) arian1: Ok sooo...Superman by Joss Whedon
(10:43:34) arian1: Go
(10:45:31) palecur: "Superman fights a skinny barefoot chick, played by Summer Glau. She throws him against a building and debris falls off, impaling Jimmy Olsen."
(10:45:32) palecur: next