When you close your eyes, is it hell you see?!
So school, as always sucked, but more today then before. Kandi wants to kill herself, and I know if she does then I will lose it. I know I will cut non-stop and prolly be put away. She says she doesn't, that Eric is just crazy, but...I duno...and she cried... I felt so bad, I wanted to cut so bad too. I wanted to cry...I wanted...to just hug her and tell her it would be okay, but I couldn't...I don't know why. I walked around scratching my arm up pretty bad. I hate it. School sucks sooo bad. Emilay and I did get to stop in the middle of the hall, throw our books down and play 'patty-cake.'
Now my parents are yelling. My mom bitches about me no matter what I do...I can't make her happy...what the hell is wrong with me? I can't even make my own parents proud or happy. I'm worthless...so...useless...
AH!!! I hate this!!! Eric and Kandi are fighting, but they will be happy again soon, as long as they get past this love issue. Emilee and Joe will have their one month this Saturday, I believe. They are so great together. As are Dylan and Kailey. They all seem like they've found their soul-mates...so why can't I? Why didn't I just die instead of Arrin? That would have been such a better life for everyone...urrg...
So back on the Kandi thing. She says she doesn't want to kill herself, that it is just some fight her and Eric had, but he said that last night on the phone her exact words were, "tell me you love me or I will kill myself..." and that scares me a lot...I don't want to lose someone else...ya know?
Well I guess that's all...besides that the day was just a blur. Oh yeah, Sammi got president, Joho didn't though. That makes me angry in a way. He deserves it, but god has a plan, right? Bleh.
Now my parents are yelling. My mom bitches about me no matter what I do...I can't make her happy...what the hell is wrong with me? I can't even make my own parents proud or happy. I'm worthless...so...useless...
AH!!! I hate this!!! Eric and Kandi are fighting, but they will be happy again soon, as long as they get past this love issue. Emilee and Joe will have their one month this Saturday, I believe. They are so great together. As are Dylan and Kailey. They all seem like they've found their soul-mates...so why can't I? Why didn't I just die instead of Arrin? That would have been such a better life for everyone...urrg...
So back on the Kandi thing. She says she doesn't want to kill herself, that it is just some fight her and Eric had, but he said that last night on the phone her exact words were, "tell me you love me or I will kill myself..." and that scares me a lot...I don't want to lose someone else...ya know?
Well I guess that's all...besides that the day was just a blur. Oh yeah, Sammi got president, Joho didn't though. That makes me angry in a way. He deserves it, but god has a plan, right? Bleh.