why I hate relationships pt 3434435356456353224523255326565
Booch is out of sorts. Part of it is the new job. Shes getting up at 4:30AM taking the train and subway to the airport by 8, in class til 4:30Pm or 5, then subway/train back and drive home arriving about 7PM-ish. Not fun. Iknow, I did a similar thing when I worked at Leesburg a few years ago. BUT.... its only for about 7 more days, then she gets her regular shift. It'll still be tough but its a 5 hour shift and even with the commute it will be about an 8 hour day. She'll be making more money than she ever has in her life. So why is she out of sorts? I have no fucking idea. She HATED working at Bloom selling seafood, couldnt wait to get this job and now she seems down on it before she even starts. I dont care if she keeps it or not its up to her, but its good money and federal work, neither of which come along everyday. Hell, she can wash windows as long as shes happy. But this is the tip of the iceberg. She's also steamed up because I didnt change my status on FB from single, which I still am to "in a relationship". Shoot me, it didnt seem like a crises that needed my imeediate attention. Then she was mad because Whiteys wife Staci's mom is a friend on FB and apparently she saw a chat I had where Stacis mom asked if Booch was my GF why I had single and a few otehr questions and I told her I hadnt met the right girl yet. Again, true. I AM in a realationship with Booch, she lives here and we are together. But we arent marriedyet, so I cant see why this is such a huge deal. Honestly I dont like being treated like I'm someones property and should show it. I care for her and I do all i can to show it in my own way. I mean I make sure she has the best life I can possibly provide. And I told her way back when if shes looking for a sappy "i love you" romantic, it aint me. I can be a dick and cantakerous sometimes and I am always me, I dont and wont change for anyone. I live each day like it was my last because one day I'm gonna be right. I dont go in for the woe is me gloom and doom shit and Booch says shes a realist, which in her case is pessimist. She always expects the worst and looks for the dark clod over the silver lining. I firmly believe we make our own luck and happiness and thats exactly what I do, I look at the bright side of things and I believe I have very good luck as do those around me. She tells me I am delusional. Ok, one persons delusion is anotehrs happiness. I suppose what irks me is, I do all I can for her I give her all I have to give and it dont seem to be enough. I'm not going to be someone I'm not, I refuse to change just to fit someone elses idea of what i should be. I dont want her to be upset all the time and unhappy, but if she insists, I' cant make her change anymore than she can me. When shes not being possesive and gloomy, shes fun to be around. We share alot of the same interests and we can laugh about things most people wouldnt find funny.But she also lets any sort of set back or hardship jerk the rug from under her and send her spiralling. Just like the TSA job, shes beat from all the coimmute and I totally understand, but when I tell her its only training and things will be better after that, i get the saracastic " oh that makes it all better". I really dont know what she wants me to do. I empathise with her, and as I said she doesnt HAVE to do this, but I also look at the otehr side, when its over she'll have a good job and after a year in federal service she can transfer to almost any otehr department she wants to. I'm sure she'd like to have the perfect job right now, so would alot of other people, but you take what you have and make the best of it. I just really dont have the time or patience to go through a whole litany of "everything sucks, nothing ever changes, nothing will ever get better" ect. Either do it or dont. Melancohly makes my head hurt, enoy the days you have left damnit, theres no do-overs....