Filk #1- A Most Extraordinary Trip (Return from OVFF)
A Most Extraordinary Trip
We drove back from Ohio
Dodging blizzard and tornado
Until we safely parked the mother ship
By aliens abducted
And Geek sirens suducted
It was a most extraordinary trip
We first went to Ohio
To sing a song or five-o
Left our mountain sanctuary in the west
We thought we’d take I-Eighty
Because it was most straighty
Which we bizarrely thought would be the best
We never thought to ask ya
Why we shouldn’t drive Nebraska
The odors emanating were “unique” (to say the least)
For us the major minuses
Are we’ve seemed to have lost our sinuses
Which happens when you cross the lands of reek
The roads in Illinois
Bounced our vehicle like a toy
Like a rubber ball upon a trampoline
By contrast Indiana
Was as bland as a banana
All beige and brown with ne’er a hint of green
A weekend in Columbus
With Pegasi Alumnus
We could have stayed and sang for months and years
But Monday came too quickly
And although the sky was sickly
We soon saw Ohio in rearward mirrors
The wind was harsh and howling
Like the fans of J.K. Rowling
(Hey! You know how hard it is to come up with a rhyme for “howling?”)
The van was rocking, but it wasn’t all that fun
I-Seventy was calling
As the raindrops started falling
And thick black clouds went scudding past the sun
Tornados started dropping
But we could not be stopping
Except for gas and certain bodily needs
We heard a raucous crying
As a flock of crows went flying
Blown past us at supersonic speeds
The world dissolved in gloom
And exit signs read “doom”
As Zeus himself went striding, lightning veiled
Four horsemen crossed the highway
And started running my way
But retreated… when suddenly it hailed
The landscape started boiling
The road was flexing, roiling
An off ramp disappeared down into Hell
As far as we could see
The road ahead was free
All the trucking rigs in front were gone as well
Not sure what to do
The driver without clue
He decided it’d be best if we pressed on
He set the cruise control
As the world around us rolled
It looked like Ragnarok had just begun
Well we made it home alive
At hour thirty-five
Two thousand miles driving through the wind
The papers would proclaim
A class three hurricane
Equivalent had ripped the hinterland
Now our alien crew
Sans a siren, or two
Next year we will be Ohio bound
Cause we fear no living creature
Or any force of nature
But Nebraska we’ll be sure to go around