Whew. That's better.
Life just got about six times easier today. Lately I've been.. off. Down. I dunno, it's just residual stress about stuff. It was getting bad yesterday. Yesterday was just.. baaaad. This isn't going to be a very linear entry, I can already tell. That's because I'm also "in class" at the moment. This stupid online chatroom thing that's supposed to pass for a class lecture. I feel like typing *passes note* or something like that. Hee.
Anyway, let's talk about yesterday.
So.. actually, let's talk about the $105 worth of parking tickets that I'd accumulated. That's a lot of money, right? So, luckily, I got a few extra hours yesterday. I was going to start making some of it back. A good thing. So I woke up yesterday, but I didn't feel.. up. Do you ever get the feeling that your head is just.. fuzzy? So I rambled around and then went in to work. I've been listening to Lamb, by Christopher Moore, in audiobook for the past few weeks during my car trips to work and Orlando. It's generally really, really funny. Except I'm at the very end where Joshua (Jesus dude, lolz) is being all.. killed. And it's told from the perspective of his best friend, who's trying absolutely everything he can to stop that from happening. It's all very heartbreaking, actually. Plus I wasn't really.. all there, in my head. So I was driving along, and all of a sudden, out of absolutely nowhere, I hear the "whoop whoop" of a damned police siren, right behind me. With the flashing lights and everything.
Remember where I got pulled over last time? Yeah, one more stopsign down. It happened again, the exact same damn thing. And this time, the guy gave me the $141 ticket. *dies a little inside*
Apparently there was not enough irony in the world. I'm driving to work for extra hours to pay a ticket, and I get a ticket. What the HELL.
But anyway. I worked. And it was actually really nice. I liked the people I was with, and I got to do Paperchase, which I secretly adore.
So I stayed up until almost 5 this morning, doing who knows what. And then I slept til 3. Because my 3.00 class was canceled. And then I went to Archaeology and watched a movie about Custer and how his Last Stand was really his Last Epic-ly Failed Retreat. And then I had Subway. And then I came back to my dorm and everything was just.. crushing. Again. It had been turned off for a while, but it all came back. Fears about the future, about becoming a success and worrying about failure. It's hard to explain, but my family has basically brainwashed me into thinking that anything less than a 100,000 a year salary is a failure. It's kind of a lot of pressure.
So I called my mother. And she made everything better. I feel like I can breathe again, because she told me that it would be perfectly fine if I ended up working at a bookstore for the rest of my life. She made it sound like she'd always known that's what I really wanted to do.
And she's right. I freaking love my job. Sure, I complain about it. And the management track has to deal with a hell of a lot more stuff than I do right now, most of which might be really unpleasant. But the environment makes me happy. I think it's where I want to be forever.
Of course, I'm still thinking about Grad school. It would be really hard, I think, to go back to school when you're older. Balancing family and career and whatnot. I found a track at the University of Florida , Cultural Studies. It's a MA program in English. Sounds perfect.
But it's nice to know that if I don't get in, or if I can't stomach spending all the money on a degree I might not ever use, then I can fall back on a place in a Borders, and I can work in an environment that makes me happy, with the kinds of people who make me happy. And my parents will still approve. Even if I never make enough money to send them on a fabulous cruise.
Also, they have bookstores everywhere. Even Orlando. Where Disney is.
If you've gotten this far, thanks for sticking through all of that. It was seriously boring, I can already tell. Woo.
And now, it's almost 9.30, which means my time sitting in this "class" is almost done. Yayyyy.
Okay, peace out everyone. I hope your lives are going well.
:-D
Anyway, let's talk about yesterday.
So.. actually, let's talk about the $105 worth of parking tickets that I'd accumulated. That's a lot of money, right? So, luckily, I got a few extra hours yesterday. I was going to start making some of it back. A good thing. So I woke up yesterday, but I didn't feel.. up. Do you ever get the feeling that your head is just.. fuzzy? So I rambled around and then went in to work. I've been listening to Lamb, by Christopher Moore, in audiobook for the past few weeks during my car trips to work and Orlando. It's generally really, really funny. Except I'm at the very end where Joshua (Jesus dude, lolz) is being all.. killed. And it's told from the perspective of his best friend, who's trying absolutely everything he can to stop that from happening. It's all very heartbreaking, actually. Plus I wasn't really.. all there, in my head. So I was driving along, and all of a sudden, out of absolutely nowhere, I hear the "whoop whoop" of a damned police siren, right behind me. With the flashing lights and everything.
Remember where I got pulled over last time? Yeah, one more stopsign down. It happened again, the exact same damn thing. And this time, the guy gave me the $141 ticket. *dies a little inside*
Apparently there was not enough irony in the world. I'm driving to work for extra hours to pay a ticket, and I get a ticket. What the HELL.
But anyway. I worked. And it was actually really nice. I liked the people I was with, and I got to do Paperchase, which I secretly adore.
So I stayed up until almost 5 this morning, doing who knows what. And then I slept til 3. Because my 3.00 class was canceled. And then I went to Archaeology and watched a movie about Custer and how his Last Stand was really his Last Epic-ly Failed Retreat. And then I had Subway. And then I came back to my dorm and everything was just.. crushing. Again. It had been turned off for a while, but it all came back. Fears about the future, about becoming a success and worrying about failure. It's hard to explain, but my family has basically brainwashed me into thinking that anything less than a 100,000 a year salary is a failure. It's kind of a lot of pressure.
So I called my mother. And she made everything better. I feel like I can breathe again, because she told me that it would be perfectly fine if I ended up working at a bookstore for the rest of my life. She made it sound like she'd always known that's what I really wanted to do.
And she's right. I freaking love my job. Sure, I complain about it. And the management track has to deal with a hell of a lot more stuff than I do right now, most of which might be really unpleasant. But the environment makes me happy. I think it's where I want to be forever.
Of course, I'm still thinking about Grad school. It would be really hard, I think, to go back to school when you're older. Balancing family and career and whatnot. I found a track at the University of Florida , Cultural Studies. It's a MA program in English. Sounds perfect.
But it's nice to know that if I don't get in, or if I can't stomach spending all the money on a degree I might not ever use, then I can fall back on a place in a Borders, and I can work in an environment that makes me happy, with the kinds of people who make me happy. And my parents will still approve. Even if I never make enough money to send them on a fabulous cruise.
Also, they have bookstores everywhere. Even Orlando. Where Disney is.
If you've gotten this far, thanks for sticking through all of that. It was seriously boring, I can already tell. Woo.
And now, it's almost 9.30, which means my time sitting in this "class" is almost done. Yayyyy.
Okay, peace out everyone. I hope your lives are going well.
:-D