(no subject)

[paixau]

The days have been beautiful and perfect this last week yet I cannot seem to find energy or motivation. I work too much, I play too little. I am not accomplishing the things I need to accomplish. No foods seem desirable, no actions seem interesting, sleeping and reading is a cop out. I should be enjoying the beautiful weather. I blame it on the new job, being there at 6:30am and staying for 8 hrs is no treat. Then having to worry about being at the theater on time. And not being able to go to Philly this weekend like I asked off for. I never have a complete day to myself although at this point I think I would need multiple. One for recovery and laziness, one to do everything I needed to do, maybe a few, and then one more rest day. I don't know how I'm going to go back to school in a few weeks, keep my grades up, and continue this madness. I barely get to see my friends as it is. I'm feeling slightly bonkers right now for lack of grounding. Its not like I even have a set schedule or income to count on. And I'm moving soon. I'm not depressed. Just feeling unorganized and overwhelmed and not sure where to start. Funny that this is my first post in months. Things are going well in the sense of Ted and I are still together and doing well even if we drive each other nuts sometimes, I have 2 jobs (both of which are pretty alright, except the hours), I got a $26000 scholarship to study in Italy next school year, my moneys ok, my friends are ok, my apt is driving me a little crazy but its still okay. I'm just feeling restless I guess.

EDIT: The sleepiness and listlessness is do to the fact that I have a fucking cold. In August. That sucks. I proceeded to go to work and sneeze my brains out and now all of my muscles feel like lead and I can't think straight. That answers that.