Resolutions and thoughts
So its Saturday morning and I'm sitting around in my pajamas listening to classical music on WQED. I think I place to much value on comfort. I'm never really that comfortable in my own skin, so I overcompensate in other areas. To be honest, sometimes I like driving instead of riding because its cold. And sometimes I like dressing up in pearls and little pink earrings. Sometimes I like to not shower for a few weeks at a time. I like having stuff and *gasp* I even bought most of it. Ted calls me a yuppie sometimes and I'm not sure why I find that so offensive. It just has so many connotations. I've decided I need to do some spring cleaning. It is now officially spring break and I need to start being positive.
Things to do:
1. drink more water
2. eat healthier, more vegetables and less bread
3. go on longer bike rides and work out more
4. do my homework well and on time
5. not skip class anymore
6. see my friends
7. DO MORE ART
8. think positively
9. go to more shows
I think in the winter I always get very stuck in my own head. I don't like the cold and the grey. Yes, I know that thats all part of Pittsburgh but sometimes I could really do with out. Now its compounded with the fact that I'm with Ted. Its just become habit to see him all the time. Just like its habit to not see other people as much. Sometimes that first step of breaking the habit and calling someone else is the hardest. You're thinking, "Do they still want to hang out with me?" "What if they're busy?" or you just feel kind of weird even though you shouldn't. My first instinct is just to call Ted even though I know I need to keep my friends and my relationship will be better if I branch out more. When you're too close to someone, you can't see the big picture. And you can be jealous and weird about things that are really normal. We go through this whole cycle of being really really good and cute and then we sort of overdue the marathon and need time off but I won't necessarily let that happen without a fight. Its silly really.
I also need to do more art. I haven't painted since December and I never even finished that painting. And I need to do photography. I've been itching for it. And I need to go skiing, considering I skiied my entire life but now haven't skiied since I graduated in 2003. I just need to get my act together. I do so much but I haven't been doing it that well so it hasn't been very fulfilling. I love my job at filmmakers though. Last night was an opening for John Cohen and I made $63 in tips. That doesn't happen that often but it was sweet.
Ted and I are going to Montreal on Wednesday and I am so excited. I haven't left the country since I went to China over a year ago. I've only left Pittsburgh twice and it was only to Philly, DC, and NYC very briefly. Does anyone have any exciting suggestions of things to do? I think it'll be really good to get away for a couple days without having to think about work or school or anything.
The show season is starting up again and there are a bunch of things I can't wait to see: Emporer X, Mind of Asian, Pissed Jeans, and others.
I'm going to try to think positively. If I feel myself freaking out or thinking negatively, I'll just stop myself and redirect my thoughts. If I ever pay off my library fines I'll get out the psych book Joseph recommended me about redirecting your thoughts. If anyone catches me, just be honest with me. "Jessie you're being morbid/stupid/annoying/paranoid/a bad friend etc"
Sorry this was so long yinz.
Things to do:
1. drink more water
2. eat healthier, more vegetables and less bread
3. go on longer bike rides and work out more
4. do my homework well and on time
5. not skip class anymore
6. see my friends
7. DO MORE ART
8. think positively
9. go to more shows
I think in the winter I always get very stuck in my own head. I don't like the cold and the grey. Yes, I know that thats all part of Pittsburgh but sometimes I could really do with out. Now its compounded with the fact that I'm with Ted. Its just become habit to see him all the time. Just like its habit to not see other people as much. Sometimes that first step of breaking the habit and calling someone else is the hardest. You're thinking, "Do they still want to hang out with me?" "What if they're busy?" or you just feel kind of weird even though you shouldn't. My first instinct is just to call Ted even though I know I need to keep my friends and my relationship will be better if I branch out more. When you're too close to someone, you can't see the big picture. And you can be jealous and weird about things that are really normal. We go through this whole cycle of being really really good and cute and then we sort of overdue the marathon and need time off but I won't necessarily let that happen without a fight. Its silly really.
I also need to do more art. I haven't painted since December and I never even finished that painting. And I need to do photography. I've been itching for it. And I need to go skiing, considering I skiied my entire life but now haven't skiied since I graduated in 2003. I just need to get my act together. I do so much but I haven't been doing it that well so it hasn't been very fulfilling. I love my job at filmmakers though. Last night was an opening for John Cohen and I made $63 in tips. That doesn't happen that often but it was sweet.
Ted and I are going to Montreal on Wednesday and I am so excited. I haven't left the country since I went to China over a year ago. I've only left Pittsburgh twice and it was only to Philly, DC, and NYC very briefly. Does anyone have any exciting suggestions of things to do? I think it'll be really good to get away for a couple days without having to think about work or school or anything.
The show season is starting up again and there are a bunch of things I can't wait to see: Emporer X, Mind of Asian, Pissed Jeans, and others.
I'm going to try to think positively. If I feel myself freaking out or thinking negatively, I'll just stop myself and redirect my thoughts. If I ever pay off my library fines I'll get out the psych book Joseph recommended me about redirecting your thoughts. If anyone catches me, just be honest with me. "Jessie you're being morbid/stupid/annoying/paranoid/a bad friend etc"
Sorry this was so long yinz.