(no subject)
It's exhausting putting all your love and energy into someone and feel like you just get half assed effort back. And no it's not everyday but why on any given day should I ever have to fucking feel like I'm begging??? Shouldn't that person want to make you feel better and good about yourself is it too hard to simply send me a damn heart via text I explained I had a rough morning asked to please text me at lunch...and then all I get is getting to lunch now...and that's it like I guess I'm not fucking interesting enough. I guess if I feel alone or like shit it doesn't fucking matter. "I'm busy". Why don't I fucking say that. I'm too fucking busy for you bye. I got told "I'm too busy" multiple times this week and it leaves a bad fucking taste in my mouth....FIRST OF ALL IM NÚMERO UNO yup Idc if that sounds fucked up or self absorbed because I make you my number one why am I not? Do I even ask you to drop your job? No I asked for a few text while you're eating lunch cause I know you can not a "busy" text hours later....if you're just getting to lunch that means you went out. It takes less than 6secinds to send "<3" if nothing else. What the fuck ever I'm out for my new number one and that me myself and I. I get so attached and I always always always fucking get hurt. I wish I didn't love so hard I wish I didn't care like I do. But I do so idk what the fuck I'm supposed to do this shit gets underneath my skin I can't fuxking help it.
Whatever I have no control what's supposed to happen will. You can't make someone love you. You can't make someone care as much as you do. But I also can't act like a fucking fool either. Always pointing the Fo get at me why don't I start pointing the finger? Cause I'm dumb and if I get back stabbed I guess it's my own damn fault cause I care and trust too much whatever leaving work then going to school peace.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.