Wake up to attack
This morning I woke up and made some breakfast, took two Ibuprofen for a headache, and sat down to catch up with my online world. Before finishing my morning facebook and LJ read I had seen three different anti-feminist posts.
I kid you not.
I find myself slandered based on my sex online regularly, and often by people who should know better. Sometimes people make their misogyny and gender stereotyping a bit sneakier, by saying that "not all women are bad/crazy/insecure/vain/etc..." but they go on to make clear that the bad behaviors they see are exculsive to women.
Here's what I have to say about it.
1. This hurts me. This harm is direct and real to me as a person, and to the bond I have with whoever devalues me based on my sex or gender.
2. This hurts women. It lowers people's self respect and makes them doubt themselves or other women.
3. This hurts men by spreading gender stereotyping and offering carte blanche support for sexism. Of course men can treat women badly if women are already bad.
This is not only done by gun clenching, Limbaugh loving crazies. This happens when people see a pattern and don't look beyond it or behind it. They see three women wearing short skirts and rail against female sluttiness or vanity, but do not think about what systems are rewarding those behaviors. Or perhaps they dislike dealing with unconfident women, so they hollow out women's self esteem by talking about how crazy and unself-aware women are in ways unique to their sex. I've seen many friends expand one personal problem into an assumption of total and global rejection from all women, and then use that hurt as an excuse to lash out against women at large.
We can do better.
I kid you not.
I find myself slandered based on my sex online regularly, and often by people who should know better. Sometimes people make their misogyny and gender stereotyping a bit sneakier, by saying that "not all women are bad/crazy/insecure/vain/etc..." but they go on to make clear that the bad behaviors they see are exculsive to women.
Here's what I have to say about it.
1. This hurts me. This harm is direct and real to me as a person, and to the bond I have with whoever devalues me based on my sex or gender.
2. This hurts women. It lowers people's self respect and makes them doubt themselves or other women.
3. This hurts men by spreading gender stereotyping and offering carte blanche support for sexism. Of course men can treat women badly if women are already bad.
This is not only done by gun clenching, Limbaugh loving crazies. This happens when people see a pattern and don't look beyond it or behind it. They see three women wearing short skirts and rail against female sluttiness or vanity, but do not think about what systems are rewarding those behaviors. Or perhaps they dislike dealing with unconfident women, so they hollow out women's self esteem by talking about how crazy and unself-aware women are in ways unique to their sex. I've seen many friends expand one personal problem into an assumption of total and global rejection from all women, and then use that hurt as an excuse to lash out against women at large.
We can do better.