Me too!
After having decompressed from school being out for a while, had a lovely week of fun in Cincinnati, and reading fyshmom 's return to blogging bit, I'm going to start writing on here somewhat. I'd like to have a smaller, less public outlet than fb for my thoughts, but still in a forum where I'm writing (theoretically) to more than myself, but fewer than the 200-some potential readers on the bigger thing.
I just finished reading Peter Elbow's article on ranking/grading/evaluating student writing, which lit up a bunch of bulbs in my head. Central to these lightbulbs was his discussion of the phenomenology of liking--it's easier to deal with students and read their work if you like them. What makes you decide that you like someone or something? Can you just decide that you do, until proven otherwise? His compassion for teachers was also comforting, in that he said that he's found that teachers also need to feel okay venting to each other when they feel fed up with dumb students and their stupid antics.
Mark had his going away party at the law school yesterday, which I attended, as I used to work there. There were some really nice things said about him, and we came away with the sense that what he's done there was important and appreciated--there were even some judges who attended and said nice things. Afterward, Mark was really moved by the experience, reflected on the things he's learned from this job. Besides the gazillions of technical skills he's learned, he's also felt it was a maturation and learning process, where he learned what he referred to as to stop fibbing to his boss. If he's not got something done, he's straight about it. If he's worked his ass off and wants a day where he sleeps in, he's reached a point where he can say that to his boss, and it's cool.
I don't often think about the idea of honesty, other than to be in favor of it, but recently I've been thinking about the idea of emotional honesty. What am I actually feeling? What am I actually thinking? And in being more conscious of this, I've been thinking about the Byron Katie Four Questions book I read a couple of year ago:
Is it true?
Can you absolutely know that it's true?
How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
Who would you be without the thought?
I learned a version of this in therapy several years ago, and find it really useful when my mind starts spinning off into big dramas of its own which often have little to do with reality. I'm thinking now about consciously thinking of these questions when approaching students. Or the bigger question of likes/dislikes--what would happen with or without these thoughts or judgments?
I'm especially interested in paying attention to these things as I approach the next few months (and, honestly, next few years), in which there are so many big changes afoot. I'd like to try to feel my feelings/fear/excitement/anxiety as I'm feeling them, rather than let them bottle up. Part of the trick is going to be to not isolate myself, not just sit on the couch with my laptop, but to seek out people and connection and communication (as well as physical activity and non-academic stimulation); but part of it I think is going to be to keep up this line of self-honesty.
So, we'll see how it goes.
I just finished reading Peter Elbow's article on ranking/grading/evaluating student writing, which lit up a bunch of bulbs in my head. Central to these lightbulbs was his discussion of the phenomenology of liking--it's easier to deal with students and read their work if you like them. What makes you decide that you like someone or something? Can you just decide that you do, until proven otherwise? His compassion for teachers was also comforting, in that he said that he's found that teachers also need to feel okay venting to each other when they feel fed up with dumb students and their stupid antics.
Mark had his going away party at the law school yesterday, which I attended, as I used to work there. There were some really nice things said about him, and we came away with the sense that what he's done there was important and appreciated--there were even some judges who attended and said nice things. Afterward, Mark was really moved by the experience, reflected on the things he's learned from this job. Besides the gazillions of technical skills he's learned, he's also felt it was a maturation and learning process, where he learned what he referred to as to stop fibbing to his boss. If he's not got something done, he's straight about it. If he's worked his ass off and wants a day where he sleeps in, he's reached a point where he can say that to his boss, and it's cool.
I don't often think about the idea of honesty, other than to be in favor of it, but recently I've been thinking about the idea of emotional honesty. What am I actually feeling? What am I actually thinking? And in being more conscious of this, I've been thinking about the Byron Katie Four Questions book I read a couple of year ago:
Is it true?
Can you absolutely know that it's true?
How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
Who would you be without the thought?
I learned a version of this in therapy several years ago, and find it really useful when my mind starts spinning off into big dramas of its own which often have little to do with reality. I'm thinking now about consciously thinking of these questions when approaching students. Or the bigger question of likes/dislikes--what would happen with or without these thoughts or judgments?
I'm especially interested in paying attention to these things as I approach the next few months (and, honestly, next few years), in which there are so many big changes afoot. I'd like to try to feel my feelings/fear/excitement/anxiety as I'm feeling them, rather than let them bottle up. Part of the trick is going to be to not isolate myself, not just sit on the couch with my laptop, but to seek out people and connection and communication (as well as physical activity and non-academic stimulation); but part of it I think is going to be to keep up this line of self-honesty.
So, we'll see how it goes.