Man Ennis truck doesn't get any respect in any story ;-) I love this line, "couldn’t pull a decent trailer down a long hill." The details throughout are fantastic and the pain Ennis is feeling is so sad. You have such a way of painting a picture, "the mesmerizing ribbon of black and gray stretching out in front of him like that line on the map." I also like all of the details and this insight, "Life had a funny way of making sure of things, sometimes," SO true! Okay, now skip all that drywalling stuff and get Ennis to Jack, I just can't stand this no more ;-D
"The vast, dry flats of the continental divide basin, where nothingness stretched for so many miles that it played hell with your depth perception and you couldn’t tell the difference between twenty miles away and only two or three."
and then,
"All he could see was that face in front of him, those eyes that had watched him drive away that short few months, that eternity ago."
Very nice use of comparative or parallel metaphor, in the one case a physical distance and in the other time distance. And in both cases the opposite is used within the single methphors. Yet, the contradictory view is something we all have experienced. Excellent.
Then there is the engaging and compelling story telling. Wonderful! Forget about the remodel of the house Sam, just WRITE!
Oh Sam...my heart continues to ache for Ennis and the sadness that is embracing his heart and not letting go. 'Missing Jack so much it was like cancer.' His journey to Jack has officially begun as he heads south. Ennis' thoughts on Jack were pretty vivid as he seems to be in the anger stage of grief. With 14 hrs of road ahead of him, he might be able to work through some feelings even if just to himself. Sorry it's taken me so long to comment. I did print your chpt out last night, and here it is the next day. Ugh. Two small kids running around make for tiny bits of reading time. Waiting so eagerly for Jack's chpt and if he's remembering anything, and dieing to see what's at the lawyer's office!
Great story - original, yet believable and faithful to the BBM canon, and well written, with intriguing plot lines developing.
I had a similar idea, that Jack didn't really die, that it was a case is mistaken identity or... Whose ashes did they bury? How is L.D. Newsome involved? Hmmm....
Very clever tying in Randall Malone, the ranch foreman in Childress that Jack mentioned to Ennis that night by the lake. I've imagined that Jack might have confided to Randall about his Ennis and how much he missed him, and loved him. Whether Jack was seeing ranch foreman's wife, or the ranch foreman, we know the truth: "The truth is...sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it."
Looking forward to future installments. Keep it rolling. You're good!
sorry for the anonymous post, but i've lost my lj.
this chapter was fantastic, just one thing though, i thought he went to montana? maybe im just getting confused, but you say in this chapter that ennis'd never left wyoming.
Comments 9
Reply
and then,
"All he could see was that face in front of him, those eyes that had watched him drive away that short few months, that eternity ago."
Very nice use of comparative or parallel metaphor, in the one case a physical distance and in the other time distance. And in both cases the opposite is used within the single methphors. Yet, the contradictory view is something we all have experienced. Excellent.
Then there is the engaging and compelling story telling. Wonderful! Forget about the remodel of the house Sam, just WRITE!
Reply
Reply
Ennis' thoughts on Jack were pretty vivid as he seems to be in the anger stage of grief. With 14 hrs of road ahead of him, he might be able to work through some feelings even if just to himself.
Sorry it's taken me so long to comment. I did print your chpt out last night, and here it is the next day. Ugh. Two small kids running around make for tiny bits of reading time.
Waiting so eagerly for Jack's chpt and if he's remembering anything, and dieing to see what's at the lawyer's office!
Hugs,
Christina
Reply
I had a similar idea, that Jack didn't really die, that it was a case is mistaken identity or... Whose ashes did they bury? How is L.D. Newsome involved? Hmmm....
Very clever tying in Randall Malone, the ranch foreman in Childress that Jack mentioned to Ennis that night by the lake. I've imagined that Jack might have confided to Randall about his Ennis and how much he missed him, and loved him. Whether Jack was seeing ranch foreman's wife, or the ranch foreman, we know the truth: "The truth is...sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it."
Looking forward to future installments. Keep it rolling. You're good!
Reply
this chapter was fantastic, just one thing though, i thought he went to montana? maybe im just getting confused, but you say in this chapter that ennis'd never left wyoming.
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment