Jul 01, 2004 18:53
we're finally in california. i don't want to be here. i feel so fucking nauseous. i see your face in everything. everyone that walks by and every passing car. so many horrible memories. so much hurt and despair. i just want to kill this pain inside of me. i want to slice my fucking heart in two-the one on my wrist, not the one in my chest. remember, cut along the tracks not across them. how can someone do this to another human being? how can someone be so fucking cruel? how could i be so blind? three pages of pouring my heart out and no response, no explanation for things that were said. nothing. he's nothing like you in EVERY single way and that's what i love the most. it's like breathing fresh air. filling my lungs with it and then exhaling. i miss home...this air is poisoned.