(no subject)

[paintyourfaceon]

So life is life. Full of pain yet waiting and searching for pleasure. Guys- they are my weakness, and why I have been hurt so much. I don’t have a boyfriend yet I’m reaching and can’t grasp. “Who needs a boyfriend? You’re young and pretty,” says everyone at the gym. I don’t rush things or go out with someone just because. My biggest fear is being alone. I used to love those good morning phone calls- and the calls just to tell me they cared. I’d love spending my every moment with a special person. Talking for eight hours a day with not a moment of silence was great. Getting hugs and kisses for no reason at all, fighting and making up, just looking into their eyes and holding a conversation without saying a word, knowing what they’ll say next- I miss and long for these things. Yes, I can understand why you would want to be single. Dating is much more open. You’re not on a title of “boyfriend and girlfriend”- but you’re single with a “friend with benefits” kind of thing. So you could have many! Who wouldn’t want that? As many friends with benefits as you wanted. But what about one close person? A person in which you care about so much. Wouldn’t that be great? Familiar with every part of their body- including their mind. I want that. It sounds so wonderful. Now, I spend my weekends with my friends- my friends are wonderful in every way. “Gina look at me. I have survived 17 years without one single boy. I know you can too because you’re a strong person.” - Lacey. I can’t make it without boys. It’s almost as if they give me so much pain but make up for it at the same time. Jesse comes up to me everyday at lunch, just to give me a hug or tell me how beautiful I am that day. I’m sorry but most of my girl friends don’t do that to me. I just need the comfort of a boy. I want to feel needed and wanted. ::sigh:: I’ll be patient. Love is kind. Is it so wrong that I’m a helpless romantic?
Love you all…
Miss Gina.