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[paintthinner]

oh god.
life is so gay
i seriously have no fucking idea what to do
im just gonna sit around take my pills,
throw up my food so i dont get fat from sitting on my ass
maybe
i never wanted to kill myself so bad...
really
its so scary
i cant believe im writing this in live journal... no body even readds this shit anymore....

Comments

[toseeyounaked]

look lauren... i know things havent been going very well lately and things seem really shitty but you have a lot of people that care about you, i care about you. anyways, your only 18. your still young and event though things seem gay right now and it doesent seem like its gonna get better, it will and you are very smart and an awsome person and you will live on and have an amazing life. i care a lot about you and no matter what happens between us, i will always love you and be there for you, but dont go and do anything that you would regret but by then it would be too late. ive wanted to kill myself before and almost did at one point but im so glad i dident. at the time it seemed like a good idea and i dident see any light at the end of the tunnel, but things always get better. you might not see the light right now but maybe its just not strait ahead and abvious but its just around the corne. things will turn around for you and you dont want to miss out on that by doing something stupid. please remember this lauren and please know that i do care and so do a lot of other people. when i talked to your aunt the other night, all she talked about is that she was really worried about you and she dident want anything to happen to you and she sounded like she was gonna cry. lauren she was sencerly upset. i could her the hurt in her voice and i know that she loves you. your awsome. dont give up on yourself. there cant be light without dark and there cant be happieness without sadness, and it might seem like it will never end but like i said, it will. i promis. maybe not today, maybe not the next but mark my words, it will. never stop beliving it... please.