(no subject)
I'm tired of always feeling like I have to live up to something... and then failing and feeling like I've disappointed everyone.
I'm sorry I'm not the person you wish I could be. I'm sorry I'm not the perfect daughter and I talk back to you. I'm sorry I want to move out of this house because I just can't take living with you anymore. I'm sorry I don't do my homework and I get piss poor grades because of it. I'm sorry I'm so expensive. I'm sorry you know that I'm not a virgin anymore and I'm sorry you know about the drugs and the drinking. I'm sorry my room is constantly a mess and I'm sorry I barely eat anything during the day. I'm sorry I'm not a perfect student, perfect sister, perfect sister-in-law, or a perfect girlfriend. You told me I had no need to apologize, but I'm sorry I'm so paranoid and neurotic and exactly like my mother. I'm sorry I get jealous over things I know I shouldn't and I'm sorry I hate myself when I'm not with you. I'm sorry I'm scared... terrified... of moving in with you. I'm sorry I'm scared of staying here as long as I have to.
Fuck. Fuck the English papers I'm supposed to be writing. Fuck passing this class this quarter cause it's just not happening. I need sleep right now and I need it bad.
God damnit.
Goodnight.
I'm sorry I'm not the person you wish I could be. I'm sorry I'm not the perfect daughter and I talk back to you. I'm sorry I want to move out of this house because I just can't take living with you anymore. I'm sorry I don't do my homework and I get piss poor grades because of it. I'm sorry I'm so expensive. I'm sorry you know that I'm not a virgin anymore and I'm sorry you know about the drugs and the drinking. I'm sorry my room is constantly a mess and I'm sorry I barely eat anything during the day. I'm sorry I'm not a perfect student, perfect sister, perfect sister-in-law, or a perfect girlfriend. You told me I had no need to apologize, but I'm sorry I'm so paranoid and neurotic and exactly like my mother. I'm sorry I get jealous over things I know I shouldn't and I'm sorry I hate myself when I'm not with you. I'm sorry I'm scared... terrified... of moving in with you. I'm sorry I'm scared of staying here as long as I have to.
Fuck. Fuck the English papers I'm supposed to be writing. Fuck passing this class this quarter cause it's just not happening. I need sleep right now and I need it bad.
God damnit.
Goodnight.