(no subject)
"She's as shady as cheap sun glasses, but as perfect as this October Monday passes..."
Its hard to realize that I love myself more than you. It goes against my lifelong desire to be nothing but a puddle at your feet. It goes against my nature to be happy alone. To fall asleep alone at night and live to tell the tale. I gave up everything to be happy. And baby, I'm just not there yet...but I almost am. It's going to take a long time, and it's going to be really hard because I never imagined a world without you next to me. I was so young, and so safe. we were safe. The world is such a scary place if you let it creep into your mind. What I am most scared of is losing my memories. Losing the feelings behind them, the essence that makes them real to me still. It's inevitable, as you of all people would assure me, to lose the feeling in even the most prized memories. You always knew I see change like death, I take it just as hard and I think you hated me for that. But I think you loved me for realizing how precious life if, and mourning the big chapter endings.
I wish I could hear your voice. I wish I could have all these deep conversations with you, but you aren't ready. I miss our deep conversations. They stopped being full of passion, and I think I regret that most of all.
everywhere I go, people remind me that you aren't next to me. It's flattering really, everyone thought we were always and forever, too. We put on a beautiful show.
Its hard to realize that I love myself more than you. It goes against my lifelong desire to be nothing but a puddle at your feet. It goes against my nature to be happy alone. To fall asleep alone at night and live to tell the tale. I gave up everything to be happy. And baby, I'm just not there yet...but I almost am. It's going to take a long time, and it's going to be really hard because I never imagined a world without you next to me. I was so young, and so safe. we were safe. The world is such a scary place if you let it creep into your mind. What I am most scared of is losing my memories. Losing the feelings behind them, the essence that makes them real to me still. It's inevitable, as you of all people would assure me, to lose the feeling in even the most prized memories. You always knew I see change like death, I take it just as hard and I think you hated me for that. But I think you loved me for realizing how precious life if, and mourning the big chapter endings.
I wish I could hear your voice. I wish I could have all these deep conversations with you, but you aren't ready. I miss our deep conversations. They stopped being full of passion, and I think I regret that most of all.
everywhere I go, people remind me that you aren't next to me. It's flattering really, everyone thought we were always and forever, too. We put on a beautiful show.