holiday

[paintingmonkey]

oh how you love this day. the colors, the bright bursts, the smell, the crackle and pops. this year i did my best to forget how you love these things. nothing wipes away those memories, and i don't know if i want them gone- but i want them to stop hurting. you don't feel the pain. you spent the night dancing with her, without a thought of me at all. i spent the night drinking a beer that i ordered before remembering that it was your favorite. you are everywhere. i don't know how to shake this other than moving on to someone else, but i want to be fully me before i get involved again.
i am forever the third or fifth wheel. it gets old. it gets painful. this is a position i am not familiar with.