yeah..so i guess he doesnt know
so yeah...
i guess he doesnt realize how insecure he m akes me feel...
maybe its not him who makes me feel this way,
but its me and my own insecurities...
sometimes i feel that i have to compare myself to the girls he talks about...
i know i could never even compare to the girls he talks about..
i guess thats why i get so insecure..
knowing that i could never obtain their beauty...
but why should i matter..?
he loves me...
i dunno..
now that i cut my hair..
i feel even more insecure..
due to the fact that ive always been scared that ill look like a boy if i cut it short enough..
i dont look like a boy..
but i look better in long hair..
dont get me wrong..
i love my hair CUT...
just maybe..not on me...
what is insecurity?
why do i feel this way?
am i really unhappy with the way that i look that when my boyfriend even glances at another girl..
i feel i may have to be prettier than her..
maye show her up?
im TIRED of the internet..
the first thing my boyfriend wanted to do was go on the computer and check out myspace..
there is no FUCKING point to myspace..
does he not get it????!!
its fucking ridiculous..
its fucking making me go insane...
i guess im venting..
i really do need to vent..
i see myself shaking because i have all this built up emotions..
so used to holding them in because theres no other way i can..
thats how david deals with them..
but im not david..
i have show how i feel..
but how can i show i feel..
if he doesnt get it?
i dunno maybe its because i feel even guilty checking out guys..
i mean..
image even talking about them..
i cant..
not around him..
and even when im not around him..
i feel guilty..
maybe thats why i get so insecure..
maybe its because he carelessly talks about other girls..
and what beauty they possess..
FUCK IT..
FUCK it..
he's behind me..
and he's talking about some picture..
some "really nice picture"
im too scared to turn around..
and see who he's actually talking about..
maybe it was a bad idea to come..
now im just lost in my black whole..
of "pity me, im ugly"
fuck that..
im not one of those girls..
who needs attention..
who the FUCK am i kidding?!?!?!
im exactly one of those girls..
who constantly needs reasuring..
fuck
fuck
fuck...
where did this all come from?
i think im gonna cry..
before i loose emotion...
before i collapse..into this pit..
can i feel?
i feel no more...
someone help me...
i think im dying...
i guess he doesnt realize how insecure he m akes me feel...
maybe its not him who makes me feel this way,
but its me and my own insecurities...
sometimes i feel that i have to compare myself to the girls he talks about...
i know i could never even compare to the girls he talks about..
i guess thats why i get so insecure..
knowing that i could never obtain their beauty...
but why should i matter..?
he loves me...
i dunno..
now that i cut my hair..
i feel even more insecure..
due to the fact that ive always been scared that ill look like a boy if i cut it short enough..
i dont look like a boy..
but i look better in long hair..
dont get me wrong..
i love my hair CUT...
just maybe..not on me...
what is insecurity?
why do i feel this way?
am i really unhappy with the way that i look that when my boyfriend even glances at another girl..
i feel i may have to be prettier than her..
maye show her up?
im TIRED of the internet..
the first thing my boyfriend wanted to do was go on the computer and check out myspace..
there is no FUCKING point to myspace..
does he not get it????!!
its fucking ridiculous..
its fucking making me go insane...
i guess im venting..
i really do need to vent..
i see myself shaking because i have all this built up emotions..
so used to holding them in because theres no other way i can..
thats how david deals with them..
but im not david..
i have show how i feel..
but how can i show i feel..
if he doesnt get it?
i dunno maybe its because i feel even guilty checking out guys..
i mean..
image even talking about them..
i cant..
not around him..
and even when im not around him..
i feel guilty..
maybe thats why i get so insecure..
maybe its because he carelessly talks about other girls..
and what beauty they possess..
FUCK IT..
FUCK it..
he's behind me..
and he's talking about some picture..
some "really nice picture"
im too scared to turn around..
and see who he's actually talking about..
maybe it was a bad idea to come..
now im just lost in my black whole..
of "pity me, im ugly"
fuck that..
im not one of those girls..
who needs attention..
who the FUCK am i kidding?!?!?!
im exactly one of those girls..
who constantly needs reasuring..
fuck
fuck
fuck...
where did this all come from?
i think im gonna cry..
before i loose emotion...
before i collapse..into this pit..
can i feel?
i feel no more...
someone help me...
i think im dying...