Love heals and create all....*a letter to daniel about my night* ^_^
I was more physically exhausted today than any other day...i felt physically sick all day as well...it was like all the emotional and mental pressure i had finally taken a toll on my body. I almost didn't go with holly to this meditation session...but something in me felt i'd feel much better if i did at least try. Well it did a lot.
The first person...before i even knew their name hugged me. I felt like i was in seattle!!! Everyone was hugging everyone and was so mellow and connected with energy. I immediately felt comfort and my energy didn't feel forced when i was meditating. We were all talking and i told them the money thing going on and now trying to heal myself physically and emotionally was exhausting myself mentally and any better way to do this? So many things we discussed but what stood out the most to me was the conversation how what kindness is okay?...and began to talk about "love and fear" whats done out of love and whats done from fear...and i'm sure you've already heard or read about this stuff but it's all new to me! ^_^ Anyways i realized that what i did with Johnathan was out of fear. I have a problem saying no to some people and being overly nice because i "fear" that someone would think i'm mean or i would maybe think i wasn't a good person or something.
I don't know but i didn't do it out of love or honest kindness and thats something i need to work on. Begin asking myself how i feel about this action...is it out honest kindness or is it ran by fear? We did "eye" meditation and this woman i was partnered with...her eyes looked like the ones of the woman i had a vision of when i was child. Looking in her eyes that whole memory flooded my mind and i felt i had finally understood something about a place i was trying to reach.
It was a great experience and the people i met there really made me feel at home. Also their was an older man there who was going through exactly what i am...all his money was taken from bad checks he cashed for a friend. We both shared words of advice and learning. It was wonderful meeting so many open people.
I'm going back over Wednesday after work.(: I'm very happy...i'm finally re connecting and able to see again that life follows a pattern of faith and choice. I can see what i want to choose and finally begin to manifest where i want to be soon. Things happen for a reason...no coincidences. And I am completely okay about my money issue right now. Because i'm fine...i have a home, i have food, i didn't loss anything important to me and i've learn a great lesson from all this and feel more connected to myself for getting through it. I'm glad i didn't piss you off too much while i was dealing with this. *kiss* I hate having to learn the hard way but i believe that was also a choice i made a long time ago...so i better suck it up and learn to work with it. ^_^
I love you Daniel...i miss your touch and your words, i truly feel more connected to you than i have ever to anyone.
The first person...before i even knew their name hugged me. I felt like i was in seattle!!! Everyone was hugging everyone and was so mellow and connected with energy. I immediately felt comfort and my energy didn't feel forced when i was meditating. We were all talking and i told them the money thing going on and now trying to heal myself physically and emotionally was exhausting myself mentally and any better way to do this? So many things we discussed but what stood out the most to me was the conversation how what kindness is okay?...and began to talk about "love and fear" whats done out of love and whats done from fear...and i'm sure you've already heard or read about this stuff but it's all new to me! ^_^ Anyways i realized that what i did with Johnathan was out of fear. I have a problem saying no to some people and being overly nice because i "fear" that someone would think i'm mean or i would maybe think i wasn't a good person or something.
I don't know but i didn't do it out of love or honest kindness and thats something i need to work on. Begin asking myself how i feel about this action...is it out honest kindness or is it ran by fear? We did "eye" meditation and this woman i was partnered with...her eyes looked like the ones of the woman i had a vision of when i was child. Looking in her eyes that whole memory flooded my mind and i felt i had finally understood something about a place i was trying to reach.
It was a great experience and the people i met there really made me feel at home. Also their was an older man there who was going through exactly what i am...all his money was taken from bad checks he cashed for a friend. We both shared words of advice and learning. It was wonderful meeting so many open people.
I'm going back over Wednesday after work.(: I'm very happy...i'm finally re connecting and able to see again that life follows a pattern of faith and choice. I can see what i want to choose and finally begin to manifest where i want to be soon. Things happen for a reason...no coincidences. And I am completely okay about my money issue right now. Because i'm fine...i have a home, i have food, i didn't loss anything important to me and i've learn a great lesson from all this and feel more connected to myself for getting through it. I'm glad i didn't piss you off too much while i was dealing with this. *kiss* I hate having to learn the hard way but i believe that was also a choice i made a long time ago...so i better suck it up and learn to work with it. ^_^
I love you Daniel...i miss your touch and your words, i truly feel more connected to you than i have ever to anyone.