Lying is simple fiction of the mouth
Not knowing where to begin is only a fraction of my troubles at the moment. Personal goals that I have set for myself are still not being met and the only thing that I've done is get disappointed with myself. Seems, like things in my relationship with my "signifgant other" aren't going well either. I'm starting to believe we just want different things out of life; maybe our lives aren't possible to coexsits with one another's. Mostly, all she does is put me down, gets pist for telling her how i feel, bad mouth me to other people, and basically all around just keeps saying she doesn't care. At this point all I have to say is if you don't care why are you with me. Her response would be: "...because I love you." I think if she really loved me she wouldn't treat me the way she does, say such rude comments, and maybe show a fragment of care. That's just how I thought someone who loved someone acted. It's odd in a way really, yesterday we were talking and she said that she never wanted someone to tell her "you are my life" but rather "I want to be apart of your life." I don't make her my life. I think because we don't spend a lot of time with each other that when we actually do have time I want to see her isn't a bad thing. Personally, I don't even think she wants me to be a part of her life. She won't even tell her parents we're dating, just lets them believe she likes some guy John, but who fucking knows maybe she does like him. If she does hopefully she'll treat him like she does me or vise versa but that's another livejournal entry. *sigh* I just wish that she acted like she has a boyfriend most of all. If I could wish for one thing right now, besides infinite amount of money, my mom home, and certain people in my family to become healthy all of a sudden that would be next. Serioulsy, if you want to be with someone you should at least, at the very least, put on the "act" of caring. If you can't even do that then why would you want to be with someone? I don't know if I'm even gettin what I want out of this relationship. Sometimes I get confused of what I do want. At this point I just want:
Maybe these are all too demanding from any girl. Or maybe I'm being the woman because I actually want to gain something from a relationship aside from the usualy guy mentality of sex, head, and more sex.
/emo-whine-cry
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Working at Gamestop has been really good. I noticed today, in a big red book we have, that each person has a percetage of what's expected of them. It's at 10% for everyone the manager is the highest of course. He is around 12%, I'm at 9% though, and two other new hires are at 8%. That made me feel kind of good that I'm actually ahead of the new hires there. Even if it is only by one, but especially since I have less hours than either of them. I've gotten a couple of reserves, sold a crap load of shit, and I'm still twerking it.
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I've also decided to allow my readers, whoever they may be, to take part in my word of the day and scripture of the day.
Word of the Day
jejune \juh-JOON\, adjective:
1. Lacking in nutritive value.
2. Displaying or suggesting a lack of maturity; childish.
3. Lacking interest or significance; dull; meager; dry.
Scripture of the Day
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power
is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the
more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest
on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9, New International Version
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Here's a present for everyone:
Bordem+4am+mspaint+laziness+weird mood =
Really don't ask.
- Someone who cares
- Someone who's understading
- Someone who wants to spend time with me
- Someone who would be there for me
- Someone who loves spending/talking to me for no reason
- Someone who would come visit me
- Someone who could actually see a long term thing happening (now everyone don't think I'm ready to get married tomorrow or something but I mean its good to know if you get in a relationship its gunna go somewhere)
- Someone who doesn't spend time with other guys more then their own boyfriend (I am jealous but I don't mind ok yeah you have guy friends but I think I have the right to be above them all if I'm the bf)
- Someone who cares what I want out of the relationship
- Someone to hear me out
- Someone who knows how the voicemail system works (i call leave a message you call back Simple RIGHT?)
- Someone who misses me
- Someone who thinks of me just because (and not bad thoughts)
Maybe these are all too demanding from any girl. Or maybe I'm being the woman because I actually want to gain something from a relationship aside from the usualy guy mentality of sex, head, and more sex.
/emo-whine-cry
------------------------------
Working at Gamestop has been really good. I noticed today, in a big red book we have, that each person has a percetage of what's expected of them. It's at 10% for everyone the manager is the highest of course. He is around 12%, I'm at 9% though, and two other new hires are at 8%. That made me feel kind of good that I'm actually ahead of the new hires there. Even if it is only by one, but especially since I have less hours than either of them. I've gotten a couple of reserves, sold a crap load of shit, and I'm still twerking it.
------------------------------------
I've also decided to allow my readers, whoever they may be, to take part in my word of the day and scripture of the day.
Word of the Day
jejune \juh-JOON\, adjective:
1. Lacking in nutritive value.
2. Displaying or suggesting a lack of maturity; childish.
3. Lacking interest or significance; dull; meager; dry.
Scripture of the Day
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power
is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the
more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest
on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9, New International Version
---------------------------
Here's a present for everyone:
Bordem+4am+mspaint+laziness+weird mood =
Really don't ask.