(no subject)
There wasn't enough of whatever glue is necessary to keep two people together
There's nothing I can do
I tried to give him everything, but you can't give another person your everything, or you'll lose yourself.
And even then it wasn't enough anyway.
It would never be enough, because it wasn't about me.
It's about him & his own inability to deal with his problems. His hateful disposition towards himself without any desire to change.
It's sad because he wasn't like this when we were together. But we were only really together-together for a few months, in which time I was at his beck & call & happy about it. But when I could no longer do that (seeing as I'm across an ocean) things got...fucked.
There are a million men in this country. I am attracted to a fair share of them. I will find someone who likes the music I like, & the clothes, & has big fishy eyes.
But more importantly, I will find someone with a good heart who hasn't been swallowed up by whatever darkness exists in this world, I will find someone who is happy & who wants me to be happy.
Until then I have things to do. Friends to make, lives to see, classes to pass.
I'll be okay.
& I hope he will be too. I hope he finds someone that can understand him & make him happy better than I could.
やっちゃんごめんなさい。
ありがとう。
大好きだった。
お元気で。
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